She texts me mean texts that I never loved her and I just pretended to love her and that I made my decision and I gave her up.
It must be very hurtful to receive these texts, knowing that you've done so much for her. I'm so sorry, nastiness is so common with pwBPD (people with BPD). As
Isanni says, I hope that you, your husband, your younger children, can all receive support/counseling to help you cope with what's happened and what's to come.
Guilt is a common feeling among loved ones, but please don't be so hard on yourself. Loving a pwBPD brings unique challenges, you did your very best - we all did.
We have lots of articles here that can help, tools for communication, and of course, a supportive, non-judgmental community of others traveling similar journeys.
I'd like to point you to the post pinned to the top of the board,
HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS SITE. It's a good place to start.
Has she received a diagnosis?
~ OH