Went to SD16's extracurricular on Saturday. I do recognize that I've been on high alert, scanning for any clue or sign that might give me a hint of what to expect.
H and I got there first, then Mom and Stepdad showed up, plus a guy with Mom I'd never seen before -- a huge burly guy. He didn't seem to say anything or interact with anyone that much. Stepdad jumped right into volunteering, making friends with the refs/coaches, laughing really loudly, asking if anyone needed anything, taking long videos of SD16, etc. It felt performative. Both Mom and Stepdad took time to play with/hang out with B11 in front of H and I. Later, Mom's "friend" (girlfriend? person who went with Mom to SD16's school play) showed up, and apparently did not know Burly Guy.
SD16 did great, so that was fun to watch. She's really good at what she does. Her coach said she might be good enough to take the team to nationals. Super proud of her
SD16 didn't ignore us or pretend we weren't there. She said Hi during halftime to both groups (us and Mom), and was fine with coming back with us after the event (no protest behavior or "I'm just too tired, can I go back to Mom's). We even had to swing by Mom's place later to get some of SD16' stuff, and again, she didn't try any "well I'm here already, and I kind of decided I just want to stay here" moves.
Even though we missed a chunk of our weekend with her (4pm Fri to ~1pm Sat she was with Mom), maybe she is trying the best she can? And it does seem like when she misses time with us, it is for social/peer interaction, vs "I just want to be with Mom". We're supposed to be together this Friday but she wants to do an out of town thing, so we won't see her at all. But it's with a peer aged friend, not with Mom.
I have no idea who the burly guy is and it's bugging me, likely because there is a history of weird stuff happening out of nowhere and catching me off-guard. I want to know what the deal is so I'm not blindsided. H and I didn't ask SD16 who the guy was and she didn't offer the information (which is appropriate).
A little part of me is now wondering if he's a parenting supervisor? Like if Stepdad ended up agreeing to a safety plan with CPS involving supervision? I have no idea. He left the event with Mom, not Stepdad. It's all really weird.
I need to see if I'm up for calling the hotline and asking for an update on the report.