Hi All!
I am a non-bdp father of a 14 year old. Been with my significant other for 16 years. Its was a rocky off and on first 3 years as it is when bdp female meets up for anything wild young man.
My significant non-diagnosed-bdp-partner and I got back together after our child reached the age of 1. It seemed like the right thing to do. I being from a single parent upbringing wanted to do better for our child. There was financial stability in the house.
I spent 6 months on this forum and listened to all the lectures from seminars on how BDP could be treated. My mother likely also had BDP or just shy or it. OCPD for sure.
This site gave me the courage to try to make things work.
I learned to validate some.
I learned how not to trigger.
We got back together.
We tried a therapist or four. She doesn't like it but will do it. We never connected with someone with BDP skills. The one therapist she did connect with said 'she is out of my league'. I respected the therapist for being honest and not just continuing to take our money.
She knows she needs help when she is not triggered.
I call being triggered being on tilt. I got this from watching poker. When rational players start to make less than rational decision they are on tilt and act in less than rational ways.
I learned the signs of her going on tilt. Depending on the situation she can stay on tilt for more than a day. Usually it settles down after 24 to 36 hours.
I learned to meditate. I meditate a lot. Which taught me compassion.
I'd call it a day and continue as is if it weren't for our daughter. She deserves better. The sooner the better.
Now that our daughter is entering high school its impossible for her comprehend her mothers actions. Its become impossible for me to defend them. Its also very difficult to let out daughter experience growing up with an over protective bdp mom.
Its time for all three of us to seek some professional help.
Last week I came across the following interview on BDP:
https://www.psychiatrypodcast.com/psychiatry-psychotherapy-podcast/episode-115-borderline-personality-disorder-history-symptoms-environment-genetics-amp-brain-scienceI have been out of the loop but it looks like finally there are well build systems like DBT to help folks suffering with BDP symptoms to learn how to better manage stress. Sign us up.
So I am back. Willing to help if someone wants to know anything.
I am seeking a well supported super empathetic BDP or Schema theopy practitioner in the South Florida. 10 years ago I could find no one.
So I came up with that username 13 years ago when I didn't know if I was staying, coming, or going...
Best,
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