Hi Everyone,
I've haven't been posting much the last 6 weeks or so - using the time my DD was in residential to chill, reconnect with DH and spend time with DS.
Our DD, 16, was in an inpatient psch ward at the hospital for 10 days after running away, then we got her into a short term RTC. Ideally it's a 60-90 day program. Wednesday afternoon we found out insurance said no more - she comes home this afternoon. We are trying to get her into a PHP (partial hospitization program) for Monday. She is not happy, wants to go back to school and go to an afternoon IOP.
She has made some progress - can tolerate much more distress without lashing out. However she still is not able to take accountibility for her actions, and still is expressing that, for the most part, it is us and others who are responsible.
Yesterday we had our last family therapy session, where we started to discuss our family contract - one of the things they have the clients do is look at their friends and put them into 3 categories . 1. sober and supportive . 2 non sober and supportive . 3 non supportive. We discussed a particular friend and how he is in category 2, which means that for now he can come to the house and visit here and until such time as we get to know him and develop some trust in both DD and him, no visits outside of the house when we are home. Last nigh DD called and told me his is coming on Saturday, and she plans on going out somewhere with him...I reminded her of our conversation in family therapy ...and she started giving me crap, "nothing to do at our house", you met him already, I dont see why I cant...
Feeling very stressed out at the prospect of her coming home. I know a lot of it is fear, some of it is the unknown still of a plan for aftercare still being up in the air. She may have been just testing the waters to see if we are going to hold fast to our boundaries...
Trying to be grateful that we had this 55 days to recharge, that she had 45 days of therapy. Knowing that things will be different when she comes home - we have all learned skills that will help us navigate. We have family and friends that now know (to a degree
what has been going on for the past year and are supportive, so we are no longer alone in this.
choosing to be optimistically cautious.
~SOD