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maxsterling
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« on: January 26, 2015, 10:36:23 AM » |
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Boy, the self-awareness and apologies have flooded in the past few days. Lots of talk about knowing she is a difficult person, mean person, how she needs to be a better wife, I deserve better, etc. basically admitting she has issues, serious issues.
That's good. I think the tools on my end that helped get things to this point are patience, backing off and letting her find her own path, more patience, staying emotionally calm, continuing to push forward, depersonalizing, and some boundaries. In other words, she's thrown all the crap for two years, and after all of it, still sees me as a stable partner wanting to move forward, and that has forced her to look at herself. She said something to me yesterday along the lines of learning to "grow up".
That said, there is still extreme anxiety, and she gets overcome quite easily. Yesterday morning was the "I hate this, I hate everyone and everything, I wish you would do this, why can't you do that... ." And then TWO separate people grabbed her hands and said "TAKE A DEEP BREATH." Suddenly she had a revelation that others are on her side and not her enemies.
Crossroads? I think this is a golden moment for me to talk to her about the importance of finding a proper P and T ASAP. MC is tonight - good time to do that.
If she can get a T that she feels comfortable working with once a week (or more), and if she finds a P that she can build good communication with, I really think there is a good chance right now of her stepping through many of her issues over the coming months. I'll keep my fingers crossed. My gut is telling me that while she has BPD symptoms that are as serious as any you find on this website, I really think she can be one of those success stories, but it's going to take action RIGHT NOW to get her on that path.
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