Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 11, 2024, 10:22:48 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Getting Out of My Own Head
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Getting Out of My Own Head (Read 444 times)
DazedButNotConfused
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Married, 30 + years
Posts: 40
Getting Out of My Own Head
«
on:
March 12, 2014, 01:04:29 PM »
I have been living with BPD for a long time - and usually I can handle the symptoms that my dBPDh thows at me. Today is different.
My dBPDh is out of the house (for once!) and I find myself looking at the holes in the walls, the broken windows, the stains on the carpet from where he threw whatever, and the general chaos of his stuff being piled everywhere and I am sad. I remember when I was proud of our house and how I kept it, remember what it was like to have the money to fix things that were broken, remember what it was like to put things away and not trip over papers and clothes and used coffee mugs ... .
Usually, I can look past all this, remember the past is the past, and can somehow come to grips that this is all part of the disease and thereby feel, if not better, at least, that things are what they are given the hell that is BPD.
I guess I have just come to my own answer - today I feel the way I do - and now I have to work on the feeling that this, too, shall pass.
Hard sometimes though ... .
DBNC
Logged
RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
Olinda
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: Engaged - 3 years, living together
Posts: 101
Re: Getting Out of My Own Head
«
Reply #1 on:
March 12, 2014, 03:11:41 PM »
sending you a big hug.
Logged
Determined1
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 36
Re: Getting Out of My Own Head
«
Reply #2 on:
March 14, 2014, 12:46:18 AM »
I feel your pain and struggle :-(
Logged
Love Is Not Enough
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Engaged and living together
Posts: 292
Confidence is the gateway to hope
Re: Getting Out of My Own Head
«
Reply #3 on:
March 14, 2014, 10:35:33 AM »
Do something great for yourself in his absence
Logged
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed ~ Edgar Allan Poe
DazedButNotConfused
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Married, 30 + years
Posts: 40
Re: Getting Out of My Own Head
«
Reply #4 on:
March 14, 2014, 03:15:09 PM »
Thank you all for your responses. It is almost odd that sometimes, just sometimes, things just seem to get too big.
It is almost like you know what is up, understand what is happening, but, for some unknown reason, almost mourn what you once thought could have been. It makes no sense to mourn - you know that - but still, something takes over and you you do it anyway.
Funny way the brain works - in the pwBPD
AND
us!
DBNC
Logged
123Phoebe
Staying and Undecided
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2070
Re: Getting Out of My Own Head
«
Reply #5 on:
March 14, 2014, 03:20:18 PM »
Quote from: DazedButNotConfused on March 14, 2014, 03:15:09 PM
It makes no sense to mourn
It doesn't?
Logged
waverider
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7405
If YOU don't change, things will stay the same
Re: Getting Out of My Own Head
«
Reply #6 on:
March 15, 2014, 05:51:07 AM »
Is there some way you can have some physical space of your own that you can keep in order, so that you don't loose sight of how you can really be. Constantly in someone elses mess can be very depressing, no matter how well you understand the reasons why it is so.
You need somewhere you can be who you are.
Logged
Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
DazedButNotConfused
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Married, 30 + years
Posts: 40
Re: Getting Out of My Own Head
«
Reply #7 on:
March 17, 2014, 02:27:19 PM »
Quote from: waverider on March 15, 2014, 05:51:07 AM
Is there some way you can have some physical space of your own that you can keep in order, so that you don't loose sight of how you can really be. Constantly in someone elses mess can be very depressing, no matter how well you understand the reasons why it is so.
You need somewhere you can be who you are.
At the present moment, there is no place. dBPDh lost his job due to the use of street drugs and alcohol so he is here and everywhere in the house always. I have been told not to do for him those things he can do - so I don't. That is why the mess and lack of order.
Truthfully, the only time I get to myself, I jump on here - sometimes signed in, sometimes not. It lets me know I am not alone in BPD land and gives me hope that maybe someday his DBT therapy will bring some results. (The only reason I am here now is that he once again took off for points unknown.)
30 years of this ... . man, I feel so old.
Logged
waverider
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7405
If YOU don't change, things will stay the same
Re: Getting Out of My Own Head
«
Reply #8 on:
March 17, 2014, 05:46:07 PM »
Quote from: DazedButNotConfused on March 17, 2014, 02:27:19 PM
he is here and everywhere in the house always. I have been told not to do for him those things he can do - so I don't. That is why the mess and lack of order.
This is a pain isn't it? I'm the same, you know not to enable by cleaning up after, but if they dont care, it changes nothing except you living in a mess too and feeling miserable. I'm not just taking about a few things out of place here, but literal filth everywhere.
I made a decison that there are somethings I would just take over, and others i won't. A compromise/pay off I deliberately take chunks of "my time" when I want... This part was rad fought.
The big problem is it starts to feel like a carers job rather than a partnership.
Logged
Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
Lilibeth
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Posts: 195
Re: Getting Out of My Own Head
«
Reply #9 on:
March 18, 2014, 01:35:57 AM »
Sending you a big hug and lots of positive energies, DazedButNotConfused.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Getting Out of My Own Head
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...