And you gave her permission, yes? If so, it sounds like you opened the door (released a boundary) in giving her permission. What was your expectation on the outcome of erasing this boundary?
Charm? That was supposed to say "h-o-o-v-e-r." What in the world did autocorrect do? Hopefully people can figure it out. And it keeps doing it after I post, so I'm not sure what is happening... .
Well, I never told her not to contact me, so I didn't set up that boundary. My boundary has been more personal, that I refuse to do all the work to reconnect just because she shows minimal effort and interest. I do believe that if I told her not to contact me, that she wouldn't. So my confusion is over why she keeps contacting me. I don't want her out of my life, I just want the conflict out. If she can come without it, I would be happy. I'm just done trying to make that happen. I did say I wanted an apology, which she doesn't really do, and she did give me one that sounded sincere and not over the top or manipulative.
As a side question, if I decide to contact her to ask what she is trying to achieve, I need wording that doesn't give away my power by making me sound needy. I want a question answered, period.