I used to write long emails to my BPDbf. In the beginning, I would send them. The letters helped me clarify my own thoughts and feelings... .
I couldn't agree more. I also wrote out all my feelings, both to clarify my own feelings but more importantly to make sure I said what was needed to be said. All too often one gets caught up in discussion and forgets and/or cannot put complex emotions into words. I do feel these letters/emails should be sent but with the understand that person to person conversation/communication about the contents of the letter
MUST occur.
In my case I unfortunately stopped writing and just let her marginalize my emotions. I think I got tired of being the only one who was really making a true effort to keep open the lines of communication and I was tired of spending an enormous amount of time trying to express myself, be it spoken, written or both in most cases, when everything I said or wrote went largely ignored.
Had I known about BPD at the time I probably would have tried harder to keep the communication open and active.