Do you ever get an apology?

[virtualfriday]

Wow I am back, I like all the reply's and conversations I started.

I got one a few weeks ago from my wife on a very important relationship issue and it melted my heart, it charged my batteries up to full capacity giving me the energy to be stronger and giving me even more determination to make things work.

I then attempted to explain to my wife how much it meant to me to hear and feel her apology and how much I greatly appreciated her actions... .which just made her feel bad and sulk   welcome to opposite world

Apologies only mean something if they are genuine and real, a negotiated apology is completely worthless to me

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[AskingWhy]

Apologies from my uBPD/uNPD H are very rare, and only when he gets a glimpse of empathy.  The regret lasts for only a short period of time until his next trigger dysregulation, and then he is off and raging again, and denouncing every aspect of me. 

Usually the triggers that set him off deal with control issues, such as spotless housekeeping or meals not cooked on his schedule, or projecting his bad feelings about other family members (son who is an alcoholic, father who is uNPD, etc.)  I suspect a lot of it deals with his very fragile self-esteem.  His ego "skin" is very thin, and I suspect it stems from his childhood and uNPD father.

Back on the roller coaster!