Whataboutism

[ElinorD]

I saw an article about whatsboutism on NPR today, and I realized that my uBPDh does this! If I criticize him in any way, he deflects by saying basically : oh yeah? Well, what about your issues?

He's so unable to handle that he has things he does that are wrong that he redirects it back to me in a false equivalency.

This is a personality disorder thing.

I'm not sure what to say to him when he does that, though. Ideas?

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[waverider]

Yes tit for tat deflection is quite common. Best way to deal with it is to just ignore it, otherwise you get dragged into JADE on some issue that has relation to the problem at hand.

Their goal is not to get an answer to their accusation just to deflect you from yours.