Withdrawal Health Symptoms

[15years]

Hi all,

Can withdrawal symptoms take the shape of real and/or perceived health issues?

I do not appease her and walk on eggshells as much as I used to. I don't know if it's a coincidence or if that's the reason behind her health issues since the start of summer or if me leaving the home for the night in May shocked her and gave her health issues. Or that she has in a way noticed that I don't buy everything she says and this leaves her short of emotional care.

I do not feel guilty for possibly causing these health issues, real or psychological, just so you know. But she doesn't seem to blame me for it either.

Some of her health issues these last few months:
- head ache
- stomach pains, not sure if real or imagined
- neck pain
-  "feeling bloated", "strange skin all over her body" - could also be just gaining some weight (not much) and/or naturally aging skin. If that's the case I'll let her come to that conclusion herself.
- fear of devoloping urinary tract infection (she used to have them quite often many years ago.)
- and so on


Personally she has named a list of possible reasons behind her health issues. First it was the fridge acting weird, but since then mostly hormones revolving around her irregular menstrual cycle, but also different food concerns.

She is a mild hypochondriac but also aware of it and rarely seeks help from the health care system although it's almost free of charge in our country. I don't panic much about her health chaos, I give her my neutral view on her health situation and tell her that if she's worried she could contact the health care services on the next workday. Sometimes she agrees but before the time comes to call she has changed her mind.

I feel I have handled it as good as I can, I haven't given it too much or too little attention. Previously I have engaged a lot in her health concerns, not giving it too much energy seems to make us both more relaxed and it doesn't affect the kids much. It seems that the kids are so used to her anxiety that they don't give it much attention either.

[ForeverDad]

Women who were vaccinated against Covid have reported irregular or excessive menstrual periods.

I recall my ex insisted she had vague symptoms and suspected some immunological diseases popular at the time.  And then after childbirth she behaved as if she had Post Partum Disorder and was very distant to me, a new father.  It paused when she stopped nursing then resumed a few months later when she argued with one of her acquaintances.  Then we divorced.

[Couper]

Some of her health issues these last few months:
- head ache
- stomach pains, not sure if real or imagined
- neck pain
-  "feeling bloated", "strange skin all over her body" - could also be just gaining some weight (not much) and/or naturally aging skin. If that's the case I'll let her come to that conclusion herself.
- fear of devoloping urinary tract infection (she used to have them quite often many years ago.)
- and so on

Except for the UTI's, mine uBPDw exhibits all of this and she will pick up others on occasion.  It has been going on for a period of years now.  I could see perpetual stomach aches as legitimate.  When anybody is in a state of distress, stomach aches are common, so it's not surprising that someone in a perpetual state of distress would exhibit this.

Additionally, mine thinks she is smarter than any doctor (coupled with paranoia that doctors only want to keep you sick) so she self-medicates.  Here lately, she has been taking all manner of "calming" supplements.  It looks like many contain magnesium.  I looked up what an excess of magnesium causes and guess what -- digestive issues and all the other things she's trying to alleviate.  Quite frankly, I don't care anymore.  In every instance when I have tried to provide genuine help in the past, I just get accused of wanting to see her suffer... so now she can suffer at her own hand.

Another one that took me a while to piece together is her "losing hair"  This all started shortly after we moved here several years ago.  Big hairball in the shower every day that at first she always had some nonsensical excuse for why she never could remove it, but could always leave it for me to deal with.  Every -- single -- day.  Once she did start to remove it (after I just started to let it pile up), it has always been left where it can be seen.  On the shower bench, on the corner of the sink, etc.  I finally put together that shortly after we arrived here, one of her new friends was "losing her hair" and that is when this all started.  It turns out, this same person is who has hooked her up with the sham "counselor", now snubs me in my own house, and who I suspect of being BPD herself.  I think uBPDw is just mirroring her.  Guess what -- six years later and uBPDw is not remotely bald!  She also goes out of her way to make her hair behave like that by leaving it wet for hours after showering every day and pulling at it when it is wet.  Another instance of setting up the pins so she can knock them down so far as I'm concerned.  Once it's not this anymore, it will just be something else, just as it always has been.    

[Cat Familiar]

Somatizing (converting psychological concerns into physical symptoms) is common.

Once one physical complaint is dealt with, another will emerge—as long as the underlying psychological problem remains unresolved.

My husband has backaches, then shoulder aches, then stubs his toe, then headaches, etc.

Dr. John Sarno, a specialist in rehabilitation medicine, wrote several books on this topic. Here’s a quick overview: https://www.morrisonhealth.com/sarno-method-psychosomatic-symptoms/

[15years]

This new health concern period feels like a new form of terror. I don't think it's intended that way though. These past few days, starting on Saturday morning just before I started this thread, has been really intense. She throws up every morning and doesn't believe she can take care of herself and S2, I think its mostly panic attacks and she is open to that suggestion. She has now calmed herself thinking it's ovulation pains. It wasn't UTI. HAD to start working from home today which I tried to not do, but I developed s flu last night so it was a bit lof a win win decision. I should probably call in sick tomorrow but I have so much work to do.

She is nice and thankful to me but absolutely draining with her worrying.

On a positive note, I had booked padel with a friend and two of his friends on sunday and I was dead set on going no matter what came at me and I did, she took care of the kids for two hours.