How to get rid of her for good? (2 years out at this point)

[naguma]

Been NC for almost two years now, hadn't even seen her on the street. Three weeks ago, I saw her 7 times in 5 days while working in a few block radius(I have a route downtown), but not since. Never told her about the new job and never updated social media. Until three weeks ago I had been blocked on her social media accounts, so even on our few joint friends we didn't run into each other. After unblocking me she managed to mention how house prices had sky rocketed in the area and then also complained about missing a workout session. This happened in the last few days. The first was a point of contention in our relationship. I was the one who wanted a house and not her - she would buy $2k purses or demand expensive vacations then blame me for being broke. The second seems to simply be a point to make me jealous even though she was hot even without working out(she never worked out through the 11 years we were together). She also has a protection order out against me(expires in a few months), which happened after about a month of NC.
Well on the way to achieving many goals that were put off and her recently showing up has caused some emotional issues. Frankly, never seeing or hearing from her again would be great. Anyway to turn her off without acknowledging anything and not feed her?

[Turkish]

Does this contact violate the protection order? If so,  I'd be careful.

I saw this recently:

"What is is called when you are ghosting in a nice way?"

"Caspering."

Can you dial it back slowly?

She unblocked you.  Can you send a nice goodbye message,  BIFF, the you block her if necessary?

Did you respond to her messages? If so,  backing out of the room slowly,  so to speak, may be the way to go rather then cutting it off coldly and possibly eliciting drama. Again, what are the parameters of the protection order?

[naguma]

There has been absolutely zero response from me, outside of the first time I saw her. That time I probably had a submissive response, even if brief. After that, I paid little attention to her as driving by. It would be nice to not even block her, as it would be a response of sorts (is this the best response at this point?). Was thinking maybe a subtle post would push her away, even if it was negative about myself become an unworthy supply maybe?). Also afraid that depending on her current mind state that she may see this as a crack she can work with.

The protection order says there can be zero contact, can't follow her actions online(so maybe even seeing her posts would be a breach?), and I have to stay 200 feet away (I think). Also can not be anywhere close to her place of work or home.

[Idsrvt2]

What was her reason for getting a protection order?

Mine has one in me too we have reciprocal orders... .they are up in July he still delivers mail on my route... smh.


It's interesting they fear us thus the orders yet still come near us .

I'm not sure how to get rid of them as my NC was forced ... .I'm not sure if I will speak to my x again... .

[naguma]

So for the reason she gave the judge.
One night she blew up big, bigger then ever before. She had been violent before, but never straight up going to kill you violent. Which lead to our break up, kicked her out when she wouldn't apologize (I had walked out a few times before when she got violent, but never kicked her out). She told the judge that it was me and not her on this specific night.
Oddly, she also mentioned a bunch of other small things in our relationship but didn't lie about any other violence. Though, to her friends she had told them that I was violent the entire relationship.
Still can't figure out why she brought up the one time I got angry at another person on the road, lied about the night she blew up, but then didn't say I was violent any other time. Really would have figured if she was lying, she would go full out. But that's just one of those things not meant to be understood?

[Idsrvt2]

Naguma. We're you not able to contest the order?

It's fairly common from all the search I have done online for them to twist things... .my x has done that as well... .I'm some horrible person to be feared... .yet he still delivers mail... .
Mine didn't go into details his attorney just told me I called him a loser in the texts ... .I told his attorney where to go at that point ... .I still don't know what lies he told to get the temporary order... .  That I was going to report him to his job?
His order on me said and I kid not, belittling, harassing, threatening texts and the dates are wrong for the texts too,... .and he also like yours mentioned past times I showed up at his house... .he invited me in and I have texts to prove it. 

I'm to be feared because I wanted him off s game site and now I think he feared me showing up at his house as he probably has a replacement.   

I read on another site where people with BPD post that some of them blank out when they are in rage mode... and when they remember events their minds fill in the blanks and often it's with distorted facts of what actually happened.

The courts really need to stop them from being able to get these false orders
How did you get last having one on you? Because I struggle with the fact he wanted them dropped and maybe I should have, but I listened to family ... .it's like I see a ghost of him as I cannot get my mail or even talk to him

[blueblue12]

I would love that too, never see her again. I am really afraid to see her. We text occasionally but that's it, on my birthday a few weeks back she was texting me all day, then at night she wrote "it's a pity I didn't get to see you, was crying all day, I really though we could have a drink together", wow, that freaked me out as I really don't want to see her, that would take me back so much and I probably would get hooked again and her behaviour as I know would most probably be extremely seductive! Which as much as that would be exciting it would probably eventually end in tears as they say... .

[lovenature]

Anyway to turn her off without acknowledging anything and not feed her?

Remain NC, ignore anything to do with her. Accept that she will do what she will do, including trying to attach to you again at ANY point in the future.

[naguma]

To reply to Loven years late,

     Yes. Do that.

[MeandThee29]

Remain NC, ignore anything to do with her. Accept that she will do what she will do, including trying to attach to you again at ANY point in the future.

Yes, no contact, and no connections on social media. Don't go googling or looking out for her in certain places. Give yourself a boundary and keep it.

If mine shows up again at some point, I will ask him to stop/go away or whatever. Meanwhile, I'm behind my wall going on.