Well.. I'll never be able to watch Dr. Phil again

[love4meNOTu]

I just saw this episode, a friend told me to watch it.

It might as well be my ex, the horrible accusations with absolutely nothing backing it up... and the LOOK. You all know what I mean by the look. I sincerely hope I never have to see that look again. Look at him when he leans forward and tells her to confess... to tell the TRUTH about what she's done.

And the wife? Yup. That was me, crying crying crying... why won't he stop accusing me of all these things.

Dr. Phil tells the guy at the end that he has a personality disorder... no kidding, really?

If you have morbid curiosity it's on You tube.

A Husband Obsessed; A Wife Accused

Dr. Phil continues his examination of Mike’s evidence that his wife, Cindy, has cheated -- including polygraph results, STD tests and a DNA test. Are his suspicions justified, or is there something deeper at play? Cindy says she’s never cheated on her husband, and Mike’s endless accusations have made the last two-and-a-half years hell. She claims his mistrust has escalated to verbal and physical abuse, and she recently moved out. She says he has now turned their 12-year-old son against her, and the child hasn’t spoken to her in over a month. Dr. Phil sits down with their son one on one. Hear what he has to say about his mother. Then, Dr. Phil confronts Mike. Has he programmed their son against Cindy? And, what’s really behind Mike’s obsession to prove his wife has been unfaithful? Dr. Phil offers a solution that may change the way he sees Cindy -- and save his marriage. Will he accept? This program contains strong language and sexual content. Viewer discretion advised.

[charred]

Sounds like you have been through hell... . and seeing it acted out had to hurt.

There are a lot of videos around like the episode you described. Saw one on NPD... where the guy would be vicious in his garage then walk forward where neighbors could see him and be all smiles/friendly... creeped me out, was just like my dad (who I have been estranged from for 14 yrs now.)

Seen the look, both from my exBPDgf and dad... neither of them are in my life anymore, and its gotten so much better.

What are looking to do now? 

Even if Dr. Phil tells the guy how to "act nicer" to his wife and trust her more... . the disorder will prevail.

This site is a great resource, lot of support and ideas here... . whatever you are looking to do.

[love4meNOTu]

You know something charred... it didn't hurt.

It was good. Sometimes I forget how bad it was. And that was so close to how my ex acted with me that it was an eye opener seeing this man's wife being treated the way I was.

I left him. I divorced him. I'm finally shaking off the fleas that were left behind.

Today, for the first time in a long time, I felt the weight of sadness leave me. I think I'm finally moving on.

Took me 8 months, but hey, I loved the guy. Took me awhile to attach to him, and it's taken me awhile to detach.

God bless,

L

[charred]

love4meNOTu,

That is awesome... a divorce is brutal... been through one myself... took a while to be comfortable being by myself... at first had to have a tv and radio on at same time in background to keep feel of people being around. Then I got more comfortable in my own skin, now... I enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever I want without having to answer to anyone.

You might want to see a T if you haven't yet, being around a disordered person does a number on you... I have been seeing one for just over a year, for stress at first, then PTSD... now I am starting to need some "life coach" type help... before my pwBPD... I had my life planned out, and worked toward my golden years... . then the disaster of my BPD r/s... led to divorce and drama and stress and my outlook got shorter and shorter, until I was just trying to make it through the next hour or two. After it ended... was kind of shell shocked and depressed... no motivation to do anything. Realize now it was depression, as the pwBPD... had settled in to a parent/child like role with me (as the parent yet)... and ending it was brutal and had the impact of losing a parent... a good parent (like I don't have). The grieving over a death stages... . match the breakup. It was the death of a lot of my misconceptions... . thought she was my dream girl (nightmare)... that I had grown up unscathed by my FOO (very scathed... brutalized probably.)... and so on.

Sounds like you are headed on your way.

[love4meNOTu]

charred...

I have been seeing my T since July.

I honestly don't think I could have done this without her. Every time I get lost in the FOG, she brings me right back to center.

Yes, I completely agree... . this relationship with a disordered man ripped my core wounds OPEN. It's taken a long time to get back to feeling like me. This is nothing like any breakups or my previous divorce. It's a complete break from denial, and accepting the reality of who this person is that I fell in love with.

Still can't believe it happened to be quite honest with you. It was a fast two years. Met, married, divorced. Wow.

And now I have the opportunity to love again, this time with someone who loves me, not with someone who just needs me.

Here's to us ... . the survivors.

L

[RecycledNoMore]

I couldnt watch it all

I cant tell you how jarring that was for me, its a whole different experience being in a r/ s with a borderline, its a surreal and comforting experience being here with others who have lived through it too... .

It is a sobering and sickening experience watching Cindy go through the things we talk about so often here, denial, Triangulation, paronoia, disregulation, words with gravity, to see it all played out like that on a screen... . its so heartbreakingly real.

Im so sorry for those of you with children with a pwBPD, I never fully understood the true implications till now.

I saw THE LOOK

I was Cindy too, she is defeated, debased broken.

Trying so hard to defend herself in a situation engineered purely by Mike so that she will lose any way she turns.

We all lived this, some of us here still are... .

How/ why ?... .

Intellectually I know the answers... .

But my heart and soul struggle...

[Dog biscuit]

O my, thats horrible! The father is passing his disorder right on to his son.

The wife is made totally powerless, its so sad.

I'm sorry you had to go trough something similair 

[love4meNOTu]

I am very lucky.

I never had any children with my exhwBPD. My boys are from my previous marriage. My ex has a son. And he is not doing well in life. Drugs, teenage pregnancy, issues at school... . When I look at my boys I thank my lucky stars. They have a great dad and mom (me) and they are good people. I'm really proud of them.

You don't have to tell me how lucky I am that I got out. I know... . I can't imagine having my ex in our little family again. He was so full of rage all the time... especially at the end, it was constant. I don't know how he had the energy to keep up all of that anger all the time.

Dang I"m lucky.

[santa]

She probably was cheating on him though.