Violent mood swings

[Hehaka6]

Needing support in dealing with my 14 y.o. Daughters severe mood swings. She is extremely violent with me and I feel alone. She has all the appropriate medical supports (doctors/therapist) and just did her intake appt with a DBT program that she’s been accepted into. She has long periods (sometimes) of being ok and then there will be a “snap” and sometimes it’s triggered by her sexual trauma or sometimes we just don’t know why but today has been hell for me and for her as well, I imagine. She still doesn’t comprehend what she’s done to me today. I was able to take a few hours break bc her father took her but he’s leaving town so she’ll be home tonight. I’m afraid to tell people how extreme and sometimes life threatening the violence gets bc I don’t want her to be criminalized. I’ve talked at length with her psychiatrist about the possibility of her having BPD bc all of her symptoms match (she’s diagnosed with severe PTSD from sexual trauma among other diagnosis) but he said it’s unwise of any doc to diagnose a child with this despite her symptoms matching the diagnosis. I agree with him and don’t want her to have another label put on her but I just want to find answers so I can find a solution. Apparently we’re doing the recommended therapy (DBT) anyhow so hopefully that will help but right now I just need support from other parents maybe so I don’t feel like I’m going to lose my own mind.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Hi and welcome!
We are glad you found us.  It is terrifying to witness and be the recipient of violence.  My son became aggressive at 13 years old.  If you want to read up more of my story , you can click onto my name.  I am glad she is in therapy and has a mental health team.  In my situation, I actually wound up in therapy for myself as well when I realized I needed my own support.   I have also had to call my county's crisis intervention team to come to the house to de- escalate a situation.  Trained counselors ( 2) come to your home in unmarked cars, no sirens and they can do an assessment/ de escalate etc.   When my son got out of control as an adult, I called the police stating it was a mental health emergency so they didn't come in guns blazing.  Just some things to think about.  Also for your review here is something for you to read and think over.  https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61403.0
Please keep in touch with us and let us know how you are doing

[Mutt]

Hi Hehaka6,

I’d like to join Swimmy55 and welcome you to the family. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I don’t have a child, I have an ex with BPD traits and I understand that that’s a completely different scenario but I can relate with the chaos and the despair that’s attached to that. I assure you that you’re in the right place it helps to talk to others that have a loved on with BPD in their lives.

Please take a look at the link that Swimmy55 posted. How do you feel about what the P said about not diagnosing your D14 with BPD?