In a synopsis, I have SO w/BPD (HF), and a daughter w/BPD(LF) and a stepson w/BPD(HF). We are blended, i brought 4, he brought 2 and we have one together.
I have been committed since diagnosis to learning and hanging in for the long haul w/DBT. I believe in Dr. Linehan's therapy and I have seen that it has led to remission for many. That said the three years before diagnosis were HELL. It is not a picnic now. One of the most disturbing issues has been the verbal and emotional abuse with physical acting out, whether in punching walls throwing things, throwing things at you, intimidation and threats of suicide, divorce, kicking kids out, taking my house, my step-kids, etc.
I am just learning about triangulation
(read definition) and splitting so I am not sure they apply in this scenario but I have no other explanation for the constant targeting of one of my daughters. I have one son who left and will not come back no matter what, one at one time, preferred to live in a homeless shelter than here and now, tonight my youngest daughter of my original 4 has left. She has been the focus of so much vitriolic BS. And though, I stand for her that causes more BS for the whole family and huge knock-down drag out fights. Finally, after getting everyone in therapy, including me, I set down boundaries, which are kept or not kept depending on how he feels. The fact is she has internalized all these negative messages and just believes life would be better/easier for her and for us without her here. She is fighting depression right now too. I hate this. This is the moment? The one I dreaded... . but what choice do I have? I am calling the crisis line and then reaching out to my therapist when she is back in office to make a plan, get clarity, perspective but it feels like here I am, where I never wanted to be, watching my whole life, family, dreams crumble to hell. I will not lose my children over BP BS. I paid for this home, these cars and like an idiot put his name on them in case I died. he is now threatening to talk half... . what a schmuck. But at this point, if I have to start everything over, lose everything A-freaking-gain... . then maybe the price is worth it. But I can't bare him taking my stepkids... . and what about the two year old? She is so close with ALL her siblings and has a special relationship w/ her daddy the BP SO. Can I just say I freaking HATE BP!
Thanks for letting me vent. I already bawled my head off in the shower and now I am numb, head spinning and in shock. Damn it.