Thank you everyone for your responses!! It feels better just knowing that I’m not alone and that this is clearly extremely common. Had no idea but I do now!!
She is absolutely projecting. And yep, I’ve been called, abusive, cruel, neglectful to her and our child, and so on. She’s even said I have magical thinking. Which I found out is an NPD thing. And I was like “wait, she’s the one with these traits…..”. Kind of a Mind F that she does these things.
I took an NPD quiz (not a medical diagnosis of course but it gives an idea) and nope, lowest range of it. I took the BPD quiz too for fun and same thing.
She is incredibly abusive and manipulative and exhausting. And our daughter is now showing these traits..Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!!!!!!