stayingsteady
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 58
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« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2017, 02:30:56 AM » |
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Hi AndreaG64,
I'm sorry you're in the middle of such a fragile situation. Dealing with the intense emotions caused by the symptoms of BPD can be extremely difficult, especially when you're worried about the well being of your children.
I'm sure you already know this, but I wanted to reaffirm that you are not the true root cause of these issues. I completely understand why you're concerned that you may be a trigger for him, but being a trigger is different than being the true cause of the issue.
When a trigger is removed it will prevent the behavior from occurring, but this isn't because the person has healed. Rather, the behavior will remain dormant until a similar situation arises, and once it does, the behavior is likely to return.
In short, I think I'm trying to say that him getting better has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with the personal choice of the individual with the symptoms. Sadly, sometimes this choice to get better doesn't occur until their personal pain has become too much for them to bear.
That being said, your safety (both emotional and physical), and the safety of your children, are extremely important. Sometimes these behaviors reach a point where exiting may be necessary to protect yourself and/or your children.
Also, it seems to me that the intensity of BPD can be completely masked by many individuals suffering from it. Rather than having external behaviors like you had mentioned in your post (verbal abuse, throwing things, cutting), the emotions stay bottled up inside until it is too much for the individual to handle, resulting in a catastrophic explosion. I always felt that this could prevent us from truly knowing how intense one case of BPD could be in relation to another. What do you think?
Hoping for the best for you and your husband,
-Staying Steady
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