Day 2 of this melt down

[Elismom]

Let me start with I love my husband.  No matter how bad he gets I signed up for better or worse but no one warned me.

I have read serval books on BPD.  None have come close to my situation. I am hoping there is someone out there that is in this boat with me.  I'm am sure dealing is hard for everyone dealing with this.  But how do you deal with someone who is on the road working when the rages start? 

He started yesterday after a few days of calm that gave me back the man I married.  I don't know what the trigger was for him.  All I know is I answered the phone and the "crazy man" was back.

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[yeeter]

Hugs Elismom,

 

It takes a lot of strength to manage these relationships.

Can you share with us more details about what is happening?  What happened on the phone rage?  Have there been other rages?  How do you usually handle them?

[Elismom]

I don't even know where to start. 

He's on his way to Canada, truck driver, and up until yesterday he was good.  In the middle of a conversation he said I have to go and hung up on me.  My first thought was did I say something wrong.  He called back s bit later and said he was in a mood and to leave him alone. 

Several hours later he started texting me about how he was going back on his self destructive path.  I called him first to make sure he was ok.  He had a threatened suiside a while back and I have made it very clear that I will not put up with that and would have him hospitalized.

He insist there is nothing wrong but will continue a verbal assault on me until he can make me cry.  Once I hit that point he backs off.  There is no warning to me that this is coming.  There maybe but I'm several thousand miles away and cannot see his reactions to what is going on around him.

I try so hard to get him to open up and tell me what is going on.  I may not be able to fix the problem but maybe I can advise on a new approach to help resolve the issue.  I don't know what to do to help if he refuses to talk about anything. 

[Elismom]

Yes there have been others.  This has been on going for the last 18 months

[DyingLove]

Yes there have been others.  This has been on going for the last 18 months

Hi Elismom. Sorry to hear about your situation, but you've certainly come to the right place. Keep posting and reading. The people here are WONDERFUL and have helped and are supporting me in ways they cannot imagine. It's important to know that you are not alone. I've not been with my BPD significant other for 18 months and I lose it at times.  I can't imagine years with a BPD, but I do know that I'm learning things that help and at other times I take two steps back.  Best wishes and stick around.  :-)