my ex jumped out of our relationship and into a relationship with a guy who looked a lot like me, and we had a lot in common.
it wasnt lost on me. it wasnt lost on mutual friends. and from mutual friends who told me privately, i know it wasnt lost on her.
Is it normal for someone with BPD to find someone similar for their next partner?
years (many) later, i would tell you that there is not a specific answer to this question.
BPD is a disorder of emotions that affects around 20 million people. its hallmarks are impulsivity, suicidality, and eating disorders. there is nothing about the disorder, specifically, that indicates a proclivity for a type of partner. in fact all of my exs previous exes were all very, very different.
what i can also tell you is that it hurts, really hurts, to witness an ex move on; any ex. far, far more so when it looks like there was a connection before our relationships even ended. that was true in my case. it only became apparent to me in the aftermath. its a cowardly thing to do, i think, when youre facing the precipice of ending a relationship, to look for another. unfortunately, lots of people do it, BPD or not.
do you find youre comparing yourself to the new guy?