Gave her an inch :/

[Justme1]

I went three months with virtually no contact with my BPD mother.

Then suddenly some issues came up back home that put me in a situation where I had no choice but to speak with her. I was able to keep the discussion on topic, however that opened a door.

She started sending me and my husband gifts in the mail. I found this very confusing, because until then she had made every effort to both prevent my marriage and/or ignore his existence. I did thank her for the gifts, but I was still extremely wary.

Yesterday she started texting me because she needed to borrow something, and it was a bit of an emergency for her. After much contemplation, I decided to let her borrow it in an effort to keep her compliant if I end up needing her assistance again over the initial situation which I mentioned.

Unfortunately, this led to her sending me 20+ texts asking for additional assistance, and demanding that I meet her in the middle of the night so she could borrow additional equipment. I refused to meet her. However, she started asking for me to meet her again the following morning, to which I also refused.

I feel like I should have known better, but I'm trying hard not to blame myself for this. Once again, I was put in a bad situation. My hope is that once this situation subsides I will have no need to communicate with her again, and I can live my life in peace.

It was a good three-month stretch. Now the queen is back, and I'm terrified that the witch will show up too. Ugh.

[DreamGirl]

Inches tend to turn into miles with people who struggle in boundaries.

Did it kinda feel like you "owed" her because the gifts?

I tend to keep score in that way. If someone does nice for me, I have to repay it tenfold. I think that's a learned experience from my childhood experiences in a dysfunctional family.

It's not really how it works though.