Car Troubles

[Our abuse recovery guide]

About 3 months ago I got into a car accident, which resulted in my car being totaled. My sister’s car had not been driven in 9 months, so I had asked her if I could use it, assuming we could get it running. She agreed to it. I was worried that it would have major issues after sitting for so long, but after letting it charge overnight and cleaning some surface mold, it runs with no issues.

Today she said she feels like her car isn’t really her car, and I’m not sure entirely why, but that really hurts my feelings. She has driven it maybe once in the past 3 months - all the other times when she has needed to go somewhere I’ve been the one to drive. I was driving her as a way to return the favor for letting me borrow her car, but it’s time I end that. And yes it’s time to stop putting it off and get my own car. I don’t know the point of this post other than to vent, but any thoughts would be appreciated.

[Garnet]

About 3 months ago I got into a car accident, which resulted in my car being totaled. My sister’s car had not been driven in 9 months, so I had asked her if I could use it, assuming we could get it running. She agreed to it. I was worried that it would have major issues after sitting for so long, but after letting it charge overnight and cleaning some surface mold, it runs with no issues.

Today she said she feels like her car isn’t really her car, and I’m not sure entirely why, but that really hurts my feelings. She has driven it maybe once in the past 3 months - all the other times when she has needed to go somewhere I’ve been the one to drive. I was driving her as a way to return the favor for letting me borrow her car, but it’s time I end that. And yes it’s time to stop putting it off and get my own car. I don’t know the point of this post other than to vent, but any thoughts would be appreciated.

[formflier]

I would encourage you to express appreciation to your sister for use of the car and leave it at that.

Yes she "should" be appreciative for getting the car running and taking her places and all that.  I would encourage you to lead on this issue...perhaps if you are consistent she will follow.

All that being said...I'm also curious about why that statement would hurt your feelings and why she would say that.

Do you think there are other things that need to be said..but aren't for some reason?

Best,

FF

[JNChell]

ff is right. Give thanks and perhaps a bit of validation wherever you can find it, and drive on good sir.

[Garnet]

I do hope that this is something that resolves on its own when I get a car. But there is probably more to it than just the car, even though mostly what I see is the surface level of her car.

I have decided that once I do get a car, if she wants to go anywhere she has to drive her car. Back when I had my car, I was having her drive my car with me in the passenger seat if she wanted to go somewhere.

[formflier]

I have decided that once I do get a car, if she wants to go anywhere she has to drive her car. Back when I had my car, I was having her drive my car with me in the passenger seat if she wanted to go somewhere.

How big a deal is this for you?  Her?

Why not just ask her which car she would rather take?

Best,

FF