How do I respond?

[Parents! Get help here!]

Are there any of you out there who are adults who feel they are in recovery from their own BPD?  If so, I am seeking your advice on how a parent (& extended family)who has been shut out of her daughter's (and subsequently grandchildren's) lives due to an unprovoked, uncontrolled, untreated BPD rage should respond.  This classical "go away-don't leave me" tactic is being used quite frequently and for extended periods by my untreated BPD daughter creating so much extra anxiety for the entire family & concern for the children's isolation. She will send threatening text messages if we attempt any communication warning that we will never see the children again. Should I, as her Mom still reach out more directly or just wait for her to get back in touch?  We do not live in the same state so stopping by is not an option for me and other family members have no desire to speak to her during these episodes despite their concern for the kids.

[Worriedgma]

Are there any of you out there who are adults who feel they are in recovery from their own BPD?  If so, I am seeking your advice on how a parent (& extended family)who has been shut out of her daughter's (and subsequently grandchildren's) lives due to an unprovoked, uncontrolled, untreated BPD rage should respond.  This classical "go away-don't leave me" tactic is being used quite frequently and for extended periods by my untreated BPD daughter creating so much extra anxiety for the entire family & concern for the children's isolation. She will send threatening text messages if we attempt any communication warning that we will never see the children again. Should I, as her Mom still reach out more directly or just wait for her to get back in touch?  We do not live in the same state so stopping by is not an option for me and other family members have no desire to speak to her during these episodes despite their concern for the kids.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders