Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 02, 2024, 07:05:36 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Near or in break-up mode?
What Does it Take to Be in a Relationship
Is Your Relationship Breaking Down?
Escaping Conflict and the Karpman Drama Triangle
Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)
95
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Men's group therapy
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Men's group therapy (Read 382 times)
maxsterling
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2772
Men's group therapy
«
on:
June 24, 2015, 10:59:17 AM »
I attended my first men's group therapy on Monday, even though I was the only person to show up. The facilitators tell me that lately there have only been about 3-4 attendees, but a few months ago they had about 10. As I understand it, this is about the only men's only group therapy geared towards domestic abuse and trauma in my city (a rather large city).
So Monday, it was just me and the two facilitators. Even though it is a group for trauma healing, that's not what the focus was on. It was more focused on mindfulness and skills to help us remain calm and be of wise mind. I found that extremely useful. I look forward to next Monday, and am hopeful there are more attendees next week.
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
Verbena
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 605
Re: Men's group therapy
«
Reply #1 on:
June 24, 2015, 11:05:43 AM »
I'm glad you are going to this, Max. What does you wife say about you participating in this group?  :)id she ask questions about it?
You mentioned that she does not admit to hitting you this last time and claims to not remember assaulting you the time before.
Logged
maxsterling
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2772
Re: Men's group therapy
«
Reply #2 on:
June 24, 2015, 11:27:22 AM »
Quote from: Verbena on June 24, 2015, 11:05:43 AM
I'm glad you are going to this, Max. What does you wife say about you participating in this group?  :)id she ask questions about it?
You mentioned that she does not admit to hitting you this last time and claims to not remember assaulting you the time before.
She does not like that I am going. She calls it my "victims" group. But that will not stop me.
Regarding her behavior - I think she is in severe denial about hitting me. I think deep down she knows and does remember, but just has herself emotionally blocked from it. Lately she has been going on about how my pants are too big on me. Yep, that's true. Also true is that I have lost about 15 pounds over the past few months due to stress. I tell her that it's not that my pants are too big, its' that I have lost weight and need to gain it back (I'm too slender as it is). She's also noticed my hearing loss, which is also a recent thing, and I believe is partly a result of her screaming and yelling. I think deep down she knows, but the BPD blocks her off from it.
Logged
maxsterling
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2772
Re: Men's group therapy
«
Reply #3 on:
June 24, 2015, 12:22:29 PM »
My feeling so far is that a men's group therapy like this could be very helpful to any man in a r/s with a pwBPD. Even a stag alanon meeting is helpful.
I think many of us men are raised with an attitude of being closed off emotionally, and a shame in not being able to handle our own problems. I find that opening up to other men is helpful an examining where I am at with myself. These groups really aren't about venting or blaming our current situation, but on self-discovery of why we got to where we are in the first place.
My own introspection over the past few weeks has taught me that I have many unresolved issues from childhood, from family, and previous relationships. My tendency over the years has been to close myself off. I spent considerable time in therapy talking about the way my mom was growing up, feeling guilty for even talking about her in a negative way, and finally concluding that I felt abandoned by my mom growing up. Not that my mom did not love me or support me or help me, but I see a drastic difference between the way my dad and my mom interacted with me as a child. When my dad was home on the weekends, he was often busy doing household chores. But he would still interact with me, show me what he was doing, and I would learn and help him. With my mom, I would see her much more often (she did not work) but when I came home from school, she would be reading, watching TV, or talking on the phone with friends. So she would be there, but not interact with me. I felt I would often have to interrupt her in order to ask for something such as a snack or if a friend could come over. And when she replied, her response was "I guess so" rather than a definitive "yes" or "no". I'm remembering now that I grew up to resent the telephone, and for years I hated talking to people on the phone. And this is likely because I felt that I often wanted my mom's attention, but she was always busy talking to someone on the phone.
I really think a group therapy session is helpful for gaining these insights. I don't feel like I am getting to the same place with a 1 on 1 session, because I think I need to listen to and have peers listen to me.
Logged
Verbena
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 605
Re: Men's group therapy
«
Reply #4 on:
June 24, 2015, 12:35:03 PM »
The weight you can gain back, but the hearing loss could be permanent. The fact that your wife's screaming could be partly to blame to blame for that is really disturbing.
Has the screaming lessened in the past couple of weeks since you came back home? What about the verbal/physical abuse?
Logged
maxsterling
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2772
Re: Men's group therapy
«
Reply #5 on:
June 24, 2015, 12:43:27 PM »
Quote from: Verbena on June 24, 2015, 12:35:03 PM
Has the screaming lessened in the past couple of weeks since you came back home? What about the verbal/physical abuse?
There has been zero physical abuse. Verbal abuse - some, but she's been better about stopping herself before she goes too far.
Logged
Grey Kitty
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 7182
Re: Men's group therapy
«
Reply #6 on:
June 25, 2015, 07:41:48 PM »
max, you are sounding a lot better than a bit ago--more sure of yourself, and like you are doing a much better job of taking care of yourself.
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
Re: Men's group therapy
«
Reply #7 on:
June 25, 2015, 07:46:14 PM »
I was around jet engines for a long time... .even with double hearing protection... .I have some hearing loss.
Wearing hearing aids kinda opens the world up again.
for me it is childrens voices that are much clearer... .
A very precious thing to be able to hear again.
FF
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Men's group therapy
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...