Adult daughter with BPD...

[Daisy2]

My adult daughter was diagnosed with BPD when she was 13... .She has had 2 children. One I have raised and he has gone to college. my granddaughter now wants to move in with me. She says she cannot deal with her mother anymore. I'm so tired of the DRAMA!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, Daisy2 & 

You are so in the right place 

We have several parents (mostly Moms) on this site who are in the same position you are in, and who will be able to offer insights and advice... .And every member of this Board will be there to support you in your endeavors. We're so happy you found us!

Have you had the chance to read all of the links to the right-hand side of this page? The TOOLS and THE LESSONS can give you great insights into how your daughter's mind works, and the communication tools and techniques that could help you deal with her better (and even your granddaughter if she will be living with you now   even for just normal teenaged stuff). Also, we have some Feature Articles (found at the top of threads listings, under the 4 photos) that are full of insights and tips for us to try to make things better. Many of us have found all of this information to be invaluable in helping us to get a handle on our lives and understanding of our situations.

You may have already learned of that because of your daughter's long-term diagnosis, but in case you haven't, I'd like to encourage you to check it all out. We're here to help, Daisy2 

[Kwamina]

Hi Daisy2,

I would like to join Rapt Reader in welcoming you here

Having a child with BPD can take quite a toll on the entire family as you seem to know quite well based on your post. What are the main behaviors of your daughter that you find difficult to deal with or would classify as troubling?

In your first post here you describe your daughter like this:

My daughter has episodes of yelling and screaming tantrums and refuses to take responsibility for any choices she has ever made in her life... .everything is always someone else's fault. She refuses to get counseling, claiming that the problem is everyone else.

I believe there is also some substance abuse going on.

Would you still say this is an accurate description of your daughter? Has your daughter ever been in counseling or therapy in the past? And do you still suspect that there might also be some substance abuse going on here?