Making a Decision on Treatment Centers (UPDATE: Menninger Clinic)

[jellibeans]

UPDATE: Well we checked in our dd yesterday to menninger in Houston. The facility is so nice and the treatment team spent most of the day with us as they got the history of our dd and her struggles. My dd has her own room that looks a lot like a hotel room. They give her a cell phone to make calls to us in the evening. She is treated with kindness and respect. I like the place a great deal and I hope my dd opens up to the staff there.

I will update more once we have some answers. It was hard to leave her but knowing that it is a nice place it was not as hard to leave her knowing that she was going to be treated well.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[DreamGirl]

UPDATE: Well we checked in our dd yesterday to menninger in Houston. The facility is so nice and the treatment team spent most of the day with us as they got the history of our dd and her struggles. My dd has her own room that looks a lot like a hotel room. They give her a cell phone to make calls to us in the evening. She is treated with kindness and respect. I like the place a great deal and I hope my dd opens up to the staff there.

I will update more once we have some answers. It was hard to leave her but knowing that it is a nice place it was not as hard to leave her knowing that she was going to be treated well.

   

So glad to see this, jellibeans.

I really look forward to your updates with how she's doing.

[looking_for_answers]

I was thinking about you yesterday and wondering how it was going.  I have heard good things about Menninger before and am glad to hear that you liked it.  Hopefully you will be able to take some time for yourself just to decompress, knowing that she is in a safe and caring environment.

[jellibeans]

Thanks Looking for answers for checking on me... .things are going good. My dd has been at Menninger for 11 days now. She calls most nights and is usually in a good mood but there are nights she is very irritated with the other patients there. She now has a roommate she likes and has settled in pretty good. She complains a bit about the place and wants to know when she is coming home but it is not to over powering in our conversations. She has her school work and has a lot of therapy and groups to attend every day. On the most part I think she is doing well. I sent flowers to her today and I hope that cheers up her room a bit.

We have a meeting on Feb 6th that is suppose to be results of testing and there DX etc so we are looking forward to that and hope they will be able to guide us going forward. I am really in a holding pattern right now. I am trying to rest as much as I can and really just take it easy. It feels weird not having her home and being on the go but I really think I needed this break. I was really running on empty and she was overwhelming us both.

I will update after our meeting next week. I have been happy so far with Menninger and I think my dd has liked the approach too which is less punitive and strict. Seems like a really kind and gentle envirnoment and I feel she needed that right now. I am trying not to see too far in the future and just wait to see what is said at the meeting. That can be hard for me because I like to plan everything out but I have been able to not stress so I think that is good.

[mggt]

Dear Jelli. So happy to hear your dd is doing well their .  Good idea to get some much needed rest all of us will continue

to pray and send positive wishes your way   

[Thursday]

I am trying to rest as much as I can and really just take it easy. It feels weird not having her home and being on the go but I really think I needed this break. I was really running on empty and she was overwhelming us both.

While we are stuck in the middle it's hard to see how depleted we can become. Sorry it feels weird and hope you will do what you can to refuel and recoup. Glad you are finding Menninger's to be a good fit. Thanks for the update!

thursday

[qcarolr]

Jellibeans - what a relief. You put so much into the search for the next step, I am glad it seems a good fit for your D.

I will update after our meeting next week. I have been happy so far with Menninger and I think my dd has liked the approach too which is less punitive and strict. Seems like a really kind and gentle envirnoment and I feel she needed that right now.

This is a powerful statement. Learning and then putting into practice tools for a "kind and gentle environment" has worked in my family. It is still takes a constant awareness of my own state to be able to use the tools with each individual in my life. I still get mad and either yell or cry. Especially with gd (yelling) and DD (crying). Dh seems to get my whining more than anyone else.

Getting some R&R while she is at Menniger's is so good for you and your family. Pausing to just look across the room and not into the future creates some rest as well.

I will be thinking of you next week and praying for a clear result from the testing, and that this will lead to a good next step.

qcr

[jellibeans]

UPDATE: We had our meeting with Menninger on Friday and they gave us their DX for DD. This was a long and detailed meeting so I am going to give the short version here.

Due to dd17 delays in language when she was younger they feel this set her up for her struggles socially. They feel that she has PTSD due to a rape in 7th grade. After this point is where her drug and alcohol use started and steadily increased over the years. They feel we are seeing more signs of her ADHD which has further added to her isolation socially and academically. She has anxiety due to her problems and some depression but they feel if she was able to get help the depression would not be an issue. Also she has a polystance abuse... .she is not addicted to one drug but simply is addicted to any and all drugs/alcohol. They also gave us results from her testing and it was very different from 3 1/2 years ago where her numbers were low and so was her IQ... .the new results now report her at the average range and are a good deal higher than the original testing. Even her working memory was a lot higher and it is believed this is because she is now drug free and the results are more accurate. So the results and the meeting really gave us a completely different picture of our dd. Rather than approaching this from a behavior standpoint we needed to be treating the underlining trauma that has driven her behavior.

They feel she needs to go to a young adult program specializing in trauma and drug/alcohol addiction. One that will prepare her for the furture and give her some life skills. Next week they will give us some recommendations going forward and then comes the hard part... .getting our dd to agree to go. that I see is the main hurtle along with finding the right place that will take her at 17.

I will tell you I was hopeful that she could come home and finish out school and enroll in an out patient program but they are fearful that she will simply go back to her drug use and same group of friends. I do think this was the right choice for sending her to Menninger and I do feel we have a new starting point. I was very surprised they didn't give her the dx of emerging BPD... .they did say she was at risk for developing it if left untreated.

So we are in a holding pattern until next week and I am worried my dd will not accept the help being offered. Our drive home last night was so sad. The thought of arriving home to an empty house was hard to bare. Trying to focus solely on what is best for dd and trying to put my feelings a side is hard.

[lbjnltx]

Steps forward towards recovery are always positive steps jellibeans.

Let us know how we can support you going forward.  Having our kids in residential treatment is a blessing!  As parents we need to focus on that more than on how much we miss them.  The payoff for long term inpatient care can be immeasurable.  She and your relationship with her can benefit for a lifetime from the skills and recovery she learns and experiences.

Being separated from each other briefly is a small price to pay for a healthier future.



lbj

[jellibeans]

Thank you lbj

You are right... .this dx has given us a new starting point and that is positive. Getting my dd the right care is very important and I know that I have to put her needs first. I guess secretly I was hoping for a different out come and that she would return home. I am good today. This week will be busy getting a new plan in place and finding the right help. Thanks for your help and for everyones input and support. It really has been a long road and I feel better that we have a better picture of what my dd is struggling with.