We were actually communicating well until he couldn't come up with an answer to my question about why he continually tells me to get out. I let it go and told him just go to bed. I'll be sleeping in my studio so I can get a good night's sleep. Too much to tell as to why I can't sleep with him, but he gets it. It didn't end the way I'd hoped, but he understands that I love him even though I don't like the things he does. Progress?
Not really being in your shoes, Rockylove, but being married to someone who is old enough to have a stroke (though I don't expect that) and who also has BPD traits, I think if he felt useless and unable to communicate with anyone very efficiently, I could expect him to tell me to "get out" at times when he was so frustrated and down on himself and his abilities.
In my mind, if it were my own Husband, I would see it as his either being too frustrated to want to try to make things better anymore, or maybe his feeble attempts to "save me" from his affliction and troubles. My Husband would probably look at my "getting out" as a means of having a better life without him.
And I doubt he would ever really believe that I would actually desert him by doing this "getting out"; it would just make him feel better to say it. I would probably just validate his feelings about it (if, indeed, all that I'm saying is shown to be true), and sympathize without questioning why he's telling me that.
It's good that he understands that you love him, even if you don't like the things that he does or says. Does it feel like progress to you? That would be good... .