Ugh Just like that, those feelings of missing come up again, like a sneak attack

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

A hour ago, I was driving and missing talking to her and just missed her again. I didn't feel the compulsion to call or contact her, like I usually do, but I just missed talking to her and having contact. I guess it takes a while, much longer than 9 days, for those feelings to subside. I feel so impatient at times. I want to jump over the entire grieving process and feel better now! I have heard to get through something, you have to go through it. That sounds so grown up. Anyway, it hurts and it is not killing me. Surprise of surpises. I am so glad I found this website and group. I know my feelings are normal for what I have been through so that is helping me to go through it. I have been eating a lot of malt balls - self medicating!

[sjgood]

A hour ago, I was driving and missing talking to her and just missed her again. I didn't feel the compulsion to call or contact her, like I usually do, but I just missed talking to her and having contact. I guess it takes a while, much longer than 9 days, for those feelings to subside. I feel so impatient at times. I want to jump over the entire grieving process and feel better now! I have heard to get through something, you have to go through it. That sounds so grown up. Anyway, it hurts and it is not killing me. Surprise of surpises. I am so glad I found this website and group. I know my feelings are normal for what I have been through so that is helping me to go through it. I have been eating a lot of malt balls - self medicating!

[lockedout]

Missing someone is OK - you were attracted to her for a reason - contacting her isn't. Malt balls are good! Just watch your figure.

Also, think about this: It's Friday night, do you want a perfectly good Friday night to go to waste... .  where you may just sit home ruminating and letting the demons have the floor? You can go out and meet people (women included) without getting the third degree or drink more than you should (if you aren't driving) without coming home to the passive-aggressive for going out at all or for being "inebriated" because you met some friends for a couple quick beers.

[lbjnltx]

Dear sj,

You are in the grieving process.  THere are many stages to the grieving process.  Sometimes we move ahead a step, only to revisit a previous stage we thought we had worked through.

Here is more info to help you understand and accept your thoughts and feelings.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=136462.msg1331263#msg1331263

These are from the Lessons here.  They are designed to help guide you towards healing the pain.



Be kind to self, treat yourself as you would a dear friend who needs understanding, patience and kindness.

lbj

[lockedout]

We are going to have our good days and bad days. I'm a different person from who I was from before I left, then going through the process of leaving until now. I don't really miss her per se, I miss the home I had and the life I had while I was in denial. There are many triggers and there's little rhyme or reason as to what they are or how they'll set me off.