First breakup, showing signs of BPD

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

sounds like a form of closure Redstar91, how are you feeling about the letter?

[once removed]

sounds like a form of closure Redstar91, how are you feeling about the letter?

[Redstar91]

sounds like a form of closure Redstar91, how are you feeling about the letter?

It feels good to finally have some recognition that I still exist. But she'll reach out in the future when she's healed and ready to talk. I was always a good communicator and took it for granted, thinking everyone was like that. I still love her though, I don't know why but I still do. But I'm not sad about it anymore, life goes on.

I wrote a reply today, but I'm not going to send it. It's good closure for my mind for now. 

[Redstar91]

But of course I was wrong. She texted my mother, again. Asking her if it would be ok to call her. I asked her to ignore her.

I'm really tired of this stupid childish drama.

[Redstar91]

She contacted me she wanted to have a conversation, so we met up yesterday for a hike.

We talked were we went wrong. She felt it was all going to fast for her, could not talk about it with me and I became a pleaser because I did not want to lose her, which pushed her further away.

She was very close to me during the hike, leaning on me, and when we parted she gave me a long warm hug that lasted half a minute. She also asked me questions like 'do you believe a broken relationship can be saved' when we talked about the relationship of friends of ours ect, indirectly testing the waters with me. I made pictures of my dog on the hike, which she tried to 'sabotage' by jumping in front of the camera. They are live photo's, so I now have new memories of her jumping and laughing like nothing ever happened between us. Very strange.

So I think she's thinking about reconciliation in the future. I still don't know for sure she has BPD, but I guess this is a normal pattern for a borderline and this is called 'h00vering' right? (keeps changing it to 'charming' for some reason so have to write it like that)

[once removed]

i guess the question is really about whether or not you want to rekindle the relationship.

more on "charming" here: goo.gl/P4qIas