Shes left me

[jimbob88]

Hi my first post here, heads all over the show but ill try to explain my best, just looking for some advice ane do you think she will return?

Ive been with my “ partner” for nearly two years, she not classed as bpd as she will not get help, her family have tried since her being a youth. Shes now 35 with two children (that aint mine)

In this rollercoaster of a relationship, ive grown to love her, her children and her family. Shes very manipulative, very controlling and has the most horrific temper. To the point where she self destructs.

We have broken up on 3 occasions now and she always seems to come back after space. This time i feel is different, with the Coronavirus we have been on at each other for  a few weeks and ive been spending alot of time with them all as a family. She seemed to get jealous of that? She also is paralysed and a full time wheelchair user ( 3 years ) so shes has mental health with that. And i try to be very understanding.

Ive always been asking her for commitment. Last month she bought me a brand new car for my birthday.
Anyway for months ive been asking for us to become full time and move in together and always got rejected. Last week we got the keys for our house (shes bought it but asked me to move in when its been refurbed) ive been excited and working hard to get it refurbed and after one argunent she took the keys off me and said never to go up again its her house. So a few days later she asks when im next going up. And im dead confused so i say “no im not youve taken the keys off me”

Then she absolutely flips her lid. Infront of the kids. Packs all my bags and kicks me out and msgs my mum to let her know im coming home.

The following day i tried to go to make amends and shes going crazy screaming the house down. “Go away” “we are over” “ill call the police” all on her drive way.

Ive no doubt that she still loves me but Shes blocked me on everything other than instagram. Shes kept all our photos on social media including display pictures and shes not told her own family?

Im trying my hardest to give her space its been 3 Days now. Ive studied bpd and she for sure has some sort. Im trying ti understand her issues and i dont want to give up. Do you think she will come around when shes calmed down?

Sorry for the essay.

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[once removed]

hi  jimbob88, and

it strikes me that this recent explosion is less about whats going on lately, and more about whats been going on over the long term. in other words, while her actions may seem out of nowhere, theyve been brewing...this is just the version youre seeing of it now.

tell us more about those three breakups? what led up to them? why did they happen? was the conflict ever resolved?

[jimbob88]

The first break up she was on my phone and found picstures from before we met on my snapchat history of me and my ex, so she ened it there, i was a mess and after about 10 days she msged me and we where soon back to our happy selfs

The second one.. she uses a wheelchair as she is paraplegic, we travelled a few days away so she could het some physio, after her sessions we found a near by gym. I passed her something wrong and she flipped in the gym and said we where going home. We got in the car and got back to her house (6 hour drive) and again didnt hear from her for another week or so.

The last time before this was our first holiday abroad together, first two days we where on cloud 9 the third day we had an argument again over nothing around the swimming pool and she flipped out so I pester led her to sort things and she got to this self distruct mode where she just ended up getting another room and leaving me on my own. When We came back she came around after about a week and msged me.

Now this has happened. I really do love her and i feel like this time it’s different, the children seen it, shes told my mum. But one thing keeping my hopes up is that shes just bought me a brand new car, shes just asked me to move in with her in her new house when its refurbed. So she must be at a good state of commitment with me? Also another bit of hope is that shes not blocked me on insta and left all photos of us including dispay photos of us both on all platform including whatsapp, and shes not told her family as ive been in touch (they have asked me to tell them when she self distructs)

What do you think? Will she come around, thank you for your reply by the way.

[once removed]

i think that whether or not you get back together, multiple breakups in a relationship do a lot of damage over time.

there may be something not working, not clicking here, that needs addressing. you dont want to get back together just to break up again.