External Locus of Control And BPD

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi all,

So I have been in contact with my ex today (first serious contact for over 1.5 years). She did all the usual things people speak about here - aka not directly taking responsibility for her past behaviour, blaming other things, implying I just didn't do enough to prove my love. It is much easier to read all this nonsense now that I understand how her mind works.

Anyway, got me thinking about locus of control, so I did some research. There actually is a direct association between BPD traits and external locus of control. If you're interested, check it out.

Anyway, here are some bangers from my ex today, enjoy!

"I will and always will be sorry for the person I was" - not a real apology, seperating who she actually is with who her actions show her to be.

"I didn't have control of my mind" - can't be blamed if she isn't in control

"I should have been better BUT we did both have issues that hurt each other" - it's actually your fault

"I wanted to be with you, but we were both lost and there was nothing we could do" - this one is hilarious, I challenged her on it with "I knew what I wanted" and she said:

"Just wanting each other wasn't enough, we both needed to act and be there and we didn't" - she left, she was dating the guy she cheated on me with behind my back, I constantly tried to get her back and asked her to return, she never did. But, in her mind, I didn't try hard enough - despite her pushing me away.

Clear borderline behaviour. I don't miss it.

[grumpydonut]

Hi all,

So I have been in contact with my ex today (first serious contact for over 1.5 years). She did all the usual things people speak about here - aka not directly taking responsibility for her past behaviour, blaming other things, implying I just didn't do enough to prove my love. It is much easier to read all this nonsense now that I understand how her mind works.

Anyway, got me thinking about locus of control, so I did some research. There actually is a direct association between BPD traits and external locus of control. If you're interested, check it out.

Anyway, here are some bangers from my ex today, enjoy!

"I will and always will be sorry for the person I was" - not a real apology, seperating who she actually is with who her actions show her to be.

"I didn't have control of my mind" - can't be blamed if she isn't in control

"I should have been better BUT we did both have issues that hurt each other" - it's actually your fault

"I wanted to be with you, but we were both lost and there was nothing we could do" - this one is hilarious, I challenged her on it with "I knew what I wanted" and she said:

"Just wanting each other wasn't enough, we both needed to act and be there and we didn't" - she left, she was dating the guy she cheated on me with behind my back, I constantly tried to get her back and asked her to return, she never did. But, in her mind, I didn't try hard enough - despite her pushing me away.

Clear borderline behaviour. I don't miss it.

[tvda]

Oh my… It’s sickening how they play the “we both played our part” card…

[grumpydonut]

T'is who they are.