I have started a new thread. May I ask if people want to participate that they keep it positive? This is REALLY hard for me. I have a borderline mother. I had no idea I had a borderline partner until 1-2 years into my relationship. I had set up a Dd/lg relationship with my partner only to find out he was too unhealthy to be my daddy. I have a narcissistic father. I am really wounded on both sides: father/mother issues.
As in... .
ddlg
Daddy Dom / Little Girl. DDLG, or dd/lg, is a relationship in which one person is the caregiver or "daddy" and the other is childlike. It is NOT a relationship between an actual father and daughter or any minor. This is a type of BDSM relationship that may or may not involve sex, but often involves play with child-like things, such as stuffed animals, bed-time stories, and spankings. The lg part of the relationship is often called the "little." Is he
healthy enough to be your daughter's 'stepfather'?
Huh? I'm the one who brought the DD/lg ideology to him not vice versa, that was my issue not his.
My daughter chose him she can leave him if she wants to.
She needs to learn how to break up a relationship. She's already had one serious boyfriend and has a very difficult father. If she does not learn how to do this now with her stepfather it will only get harder for her to end difficult relationships in my opinion. This is a training ground for her to learn conflict resolution when she leaves home. I will not be able to protect her when she turns 18 the way I can now. If she gets into an abusive relationship after she has moved out of the apartment it will be much harder for her to leave because she will not know how. That is not saying my ex is abusing her. That is saying I trust her judgment. She is old enough to be emancipated. While she doesn't want to be that means the state has deemed her fit for independence if she wants that. She just started her first part time summer job. She is growing up. Part of that is learning how to deal with men. It has been me and her since she has been 4. I do not feel my ex is a danger to her. First of all he is 2500 miles away. Second of all he does care about her. If there is one thing his father, his wife and I all agree on it is that he is good with teenagers. He is so good that his wife said he could work with them professionally. Both he and his father say teenagers have flocked to him since he was a teenager. This is not a lie. Why can't he be a blessing to her even if he is a curse to me? Why do the two relationships have to be connected? I don't think they do.
Do you think I do not know how to protect my daughter? I am not trying to be passive aggressive with my question. I'm getting a lot of flak for not breaking up my ex and my daughter. There are other people who have said on the undecided board that is their relationship and does not require my participation. I agree with them. I am not committed to my position however until I either get an al-anon sponsor or talk to my new therapist I am leaving things as they are for now.
I am trying really hard to be calm here but this is a hot button issue for me. This really pushes all my DBT skills to the maximum. I forget about dialectics and want to get emotional. I want to say but instead of and. So perhaps we could go easy on the stepdaughter thing for now. Please? It has only been 3 days and I am really struggling with no contact. Can we please focus on that for now?
