Idealize, devalue, discard?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I find terminology here that I haven't heard before. This one knocked the wind out of me. Being torn down for a year has been traumatic enough for me. The thought of being discarded sounds like it may put me over the edge. I began to think there is a part of me that is satisfied by how much she loves me. It's unhealthy, I know. But it's strong and something I must have needed? I had better prepare myself.

[Weary1402]

I find terminology here that I haven't heard before. This one knocked the wind out of me. Being torn down for a year has been traumatic enough for me. The thought of being discarded sounds like it may put me over the edge. I began to think there is a part of me that is satisfied by how much she loves me. It's unhealthy, I know. But it's strong and something I must have needed? I had better prepare myself.

[ynwa]

Hello Weary,

I hear you. That word is a bit clinical and cold isn't it? But it is used in a definition of describing emotion. I'd like to say that it also has a positive meaning, it opens a doorway for those of us on the board to follow a brighter path.

I've read some of yours posts and see just how much you went through for someone you loved.  Detachment helps see that we can let go, even just a little to take a breath. 

How are you going to prepare?

[infjEpic]

I find terminology here that I haven't heard before. This one knocked the wind out of me. Being torn down for a year has been traumatic enough for me. The thought of being discarded sounds like it may put me over the edge. I began to think there is a part of me that is satisfied by how much she loves me. It's unhealthy, I know. But it's strong and something I must have needed? I had better prepare myself.

It seems the relationship is still ongoing?

[Hisaccount]

That sums up my relationship perfectly.

Idealization, I was perfect, even my flaws, soul mate, blah, blah, blah.

Devalue, She didn't trust what I told her, If I told her the sky was blue she would not believe me. Then belittle me for it. Call me controlling or a liar.

Discard, yep that is what happened next.

So glad to be rid of her. You will see it too.