Broken up with my BPD man

[BeverlyAnne]

2 years ago I met a wonderful man, in what I can only describe as a loving , happy , no drama relationship
He is adored by my family and friends, we made plans for the future and spoke about moving in together
A month ago ,He  withdrew for first time, struggling with the ongoing refusal of his young adult daughters to have a relationship with him ( they sided with their mother post divorce) I have been very supportive of him trying to deal with his pain
I noticed his withdrawal , asked how i could help and his response was to break off our relationship ,hit me , friends and family like a freight train
No- one saw that this would ever happen, we always treated each other with love and respect
The day of our break up, he cried saying he loved me and this could be the worst decision, left me  so confused as if these were his feeling why is he breaking up ?
Since then Ive found out he has BPD , never told me, I knew his daughter has BPD. He has not made contact with me , but I know how emotional and sad he can be . My question is do I reach out to him, and show love and support ?
Or do I just accept the break up ?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

So glad you posted!  I'll come back soon to check on your response!

Well...the answer to your question is "it depends".

Do you want a relationship with BPD "in it"?  I would encourage you to "accept" that choosing a relationship with him equals choosing a relationship with a person that acts in ways consistent with BPD.

Please don't read any good or bad judgment in that statement.  More of a statement like "If you choose to walk in the rain, don't be surprised to get wet."

Thoughts?

Best,

FF

[alterK]

Hi Bev, and welcome! I'll second what FF wrote. And add a suggestion that you read some of the threads on this forum. They describe a great variety of experiences, some good, some not so good, some awful. Although not a psychology textbook, they will give you insight into what living with a person with BPD is like.