Has she really changed? One look on this behavior and I do not think so.

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Hello BPD-Family!
Today I want to discuss a topic, which is bothering all of us in some way: The huge question, if she has changed and is a better person now. Does the replacement or other people in her life do only get the best of her, like we got it at the beginning? Did we do all the work and the new guy gets the results? Was their bad behaviour our fault and what could we have done?
I do think about these questions everyday for about 10 months and I want and need to end it, so please share your thoughts on these questions and the following analysis. I got my informations through sporadic "contact" with her and through some social-media posts and conversations with her "best" friends. This analysis shall prove me that she has not changed and is not happier, eventhough she thinks so.

1. First it is interesting, what she said to me one month and 2 months after the break-up: She wanted to spend more time, with people from their class, which she hated and about whom she solely talked negativeley -->Still needs supply and does not give a damn about whom she gets it from.

- Than she told me that she got to know a guy, with who she got no problems and that all her problems are gone now --> Still not taking responsibility and giving me and her hormones all the fault for her problems and our discussions. And of course denial: If you read my other posts, she had some bad behaviors, thoughts and real mental problems, which do not disappear magically with a new guy. Total denial and blame-shifting on me.

- Also I could see that she still painted me black and solely sees only the negative in me and my past actions --> if she would have changed, she could see me in white and in black, which she can't until this day.

- She also was sure some things did not happen or she did not say something like that, eventhough they clearly happened: - Still denial of past behaviour, she could not even see her behaving like a BPD, eventhough reading something about it.

- Wanted my help a few months ago to check her grammar in an application after another breakup or disappointment in her romantic life (Changed Whatsapp-Status) : Told me that it would not be bad, if I do not want to help her, but she wants to know, if she should wait for a response --> Total attention seeking and looking for supply and approval. Kind of crazy considering that she never wanted to see me again, talk to me or hear something from me.

- Then still the crazy smirk, when I was talking to her in march and when I saw her at her workplace. Nothing new to me.

- ignoring me, but as soon as I talked to another girl she came over and said that I should stop staring at her --> still a control freak and still bitter about me and trying to destroy my life.

- Still a happy facade: After I called her out on her blatant lies on that parrty in march, she sat down on a floor and looked finished. After she saw me around, she got straight up and on the dancefloor to not show me that she was unhappy or that I hit her with the truth.

- Wanted to end a friendship with a really good girl, who defended her and who she had some really good times with, only because she gives her boyfriend in school more attention --> Still attention and supply seeking like a child

-  Told me in February that she is happy now, because she deleted the wrong people from her life --> Still no responsibility for her feelings and her own happiness, still completeley dependent on others.

2. What I saw on social media:
- Total non-sense-behavior. First she blocked me on Whatsapp and even generally my phone-number, which was over the top, because I made it clear that I do not want to see her ever again. Than after I saw her again a few months later, she unblocked me on whatsapp and a few weeks ago she deleted my number again.

- On Instagram she constantly changed her profile between public and private and uploaded a few weeks ago a profile pic on Facebook, eventhough she told me one year earlier that she does not want anybody to see, how she does look like. (But her Instagram Selfies are okay - WTH?).

- Than another charade happened: Her posting a story, where she was on a birthday, solely to get attention and likes for her new instagram pictures: May not had get enough attention on that birthday, so this was a good way. Then she posted two stories on the two following days, blocking me and after seeing me again, unblocking me, posting a story and asking me, why I am one the first ones to see it. After that message posting another story and telling me that she knew I have seen it.

- Than still sometimes the same depressing quotes, she used when we had one of our thousand breakups. A status on Whatapp with a heart and a day later an X and her profile picture and her last online status gone --> Still relationships between extremes.

3. Convversations with her "best" friends.
These were the most helpful ones and really improved my situation.

- One of her knew her only for a month after I met him back in september. He told me that she is a son of a bitch. She always talks about what she had with her new friends with benefits --> This speaks for itself, if you analyze it closely. First the fact that she has a friends with benefits again. She was nearly completeley destroyed two times by it and sweared to me to never ever want to have this kind of relationship again. Still does not learn from her past mistakes. Than with whom she has this friends of benefits. A guy, who was not her type, when we still had contact. He was too short, had a beard and was from Turkey, her Russian parents hate these kind of people and now she is ___ing them -->Still lying to her parents and still does not give a sh't about their values at home. It looks like a revenge on her controlling parents.

- Than another best friend of her thinks that she has sex or makes out with everyone she can get. Well, was different, when we still had contact --> Must fill the void more and more and still does not bother with who, her mainly purpose is not having good guys with good values, her purpose to have her needs met now. Still oversexualk and seductive, still does not get to know other people well before she makes out with them. Her beauty and her body are still her first choice weapons.

- Again hanging out her first love, who never had a relationship with her and instead of that left her two times for other girls --> If she would have changed and be so happy, she would not get back to the person, she badmouthed a lot and who had done this to her. Eventhough this recycling attempt fits to Borderline to a T. If she would love herself now and would learn from past mistakes and be a different person, she would not want to try again with the person, who puts her through so much pain.

- Her "best" friend became her best friend after one month. After she badmouthed him on her birthday and he drove away they had no contact for six weeks or something --> Still idealizing and devaluing people. Black and white thinking still existing. Still not able to see another persons perspective and their feelings and still not able to make compromises and to admit a mistake. And still not giving a f*ck about who she is hanging out with. If he was really that important to her or if he would have been really her best friend, she would have contacted him. Funny enough that she does not see her as a best friend - he says that she only writes him, when she wants to party or drink --> Still not able to form meaningful friendships and deep connections. He even badmouths her on a party about her weight and it does not seem like that anyone defended her, nobody seems to like her.

- her female (ex-)best friend has slowly enough of her and her bull___ and does not really like her at the moment --> when we had contact her best friend even defended her and told me that she has not borderline. (Yeah, I was totally wrong, only over 200 behaviours that speak for itself, while you are only getting her facade most of the time)--> Still not able to hold meaningful relationships over years. My guess is that she fears closeness and as you grow closer over the years, her best friend now gets the sh*tty behaviour everyone gets that is close to her.

- another best friend of her told me that he has not seen her for months and that he would not be friends with her, if it wasn't for her sister and her female best friend --> she knew this guy for nearly two years and is now distancing herself without any conflict or something. Still changing her friendship cycles and gets bored quickly. Still not able to hold relationships over years. I guess she is changing, but she is changing all the time, that's why she constantly needs new people, new attention and new admiration. Eventhough other people are not able to see through her bull___.

- her "new" best friend: Is an unloyal rat as herself: Promised one guy that she would not have something with other guys while being close to him. Short time later she has her first time sex with a guy from the internet she never saw before --> Attracts the same sh*tty kind of people. It is funny that she is now best friends with a girl who called her a bitch and who smiled at me a few months ago, like she still liked me. Anyway everybody of her friends still seem to like me, eventhough she tries to persuade them that I am a bad guy.

- A new crazy ex: Me. Yes, in her eyes I am a psycho, because I see her Instagram Stories. I am crazy, because I wrote "novels" to her --> Still not taking responsibility: She could have blocked me on Instagram. And my long texts were sent because of her ___ty behaviour, which I tried to explain or to critizise. She badmouths me so often that even her "best" friend does not want to hear it and is getting nerved.

- I am a stalker, since I go to the supermarket near my town since she worked there --> Still delusional and living in her own world. I was there two times in three/four months. I always tell people that I do not want to go there, since I do not want to see her ever again. And if I would want to stalk her I would attent to parties in my town, where she is with a prtobability of 110%. Still a liar to everyone and still trying to destroy me and not satisfied with her life. If she would be happy and would have closed that chapter of her life, why still telling people about me that often that they get annoyed?

- and after I heard that I nearly died from laughing too hard: She tells a guy, whom she barely knows (probably for a few minutes) that she does not get really wet, when having sex --> Hahaha, that says it all, doesn't it? First she still shares really private things with everyone, than she still looks after heroes and rescuers, than she still is really sexual, than she still feels no shame, and the best thing: It is proof that she uses sex only for control, manipulation and to distract her from her own emptiness and to fill up her hole of selfworth. If she would enjoy it, she wouuld get horny, naughty and wet. It still bothers me that she tells everyone that I was too thin for her and she like a little bit fatter guys. But why was she horny and wet with me? How can she be so delusional. Oh of course, her BPD hits her hard again.

- she tells her "best" friend constantly, how cute this and this guy looks --> She still tries to make somebody jealous to hurt them and to get attention. But now it is worse: She does not only want to make her "love" interest jealous, but also her best friend to get attention.

- breaking down what we have: She not tells about the story that she loved me so much and wanted a relationship with me and that I was kind of her hero and saviour and her best friend. She just tells other guys that we had something a few months ago and not more --> Still in denial, still can't confronting the truth that it meant something for her. (Yes I know that it was not about me, more about my supply)

- She is still unhealthy: Shisha, McDonalds and still really overweight. Told me right after the breakup that her backpain gets worse and worse but does not seem to want to do anything against it. --> Still no responsibility and childike behaviour.

- is really quick to call friends traitors, when they something against her or something good about someone she hates --> Still black and white, still taking things personally really quick, still easily offended. Still thinks people are colluding against her.


So a lot of behaviors are reminding me of the girl in January I left. I do not know enough about her romantic or sexual relationships to clearly say that she has not changed. But when I focus on these behaviours and the opinions of other people, I can say that there are still some crazy and illogical patterns that prove that she might still have BPD and she had not worked on herself and that she is worse than before meeting me. I guess her other relationships are not better, because I think she can not change. She is still delusional about her past behvaior and patterns: She gives me the fault or responsibility for everything, downplay it, says that it was not existent, says that she behaves different with different people. She can't analyze herself, because she has no introspection or emotional memory. She has solely black and white thinking, which prevent her from helping herself or bettering her situation, because that would mean that she is not flawless and perfect and that she is a bad person in general. She can not help or change herself, because she does not want to get better. She never even wanted me to solve her problems, she wanted a listener. And she hated it that I wanted to be in her life to help her. She said that she does not need something like that and does not want pity. She can't accept failure and is in denial and delusion about it. Instead of accepting the fact that she deeply hurt me and made me so angry that I called her out on her bull___, she just sees me in an only negative light. She can't change, because she concentrates on other peoples failures or create them and give them the whole responsibility for her happiness. She project her failures on other people, so she has not to see it in herself or can see her as normal. She does not have the ressources to change and I guess your ex do not have it. But the thing is, they do not want to change as long as they do not have to. And even when they havve to, it would be not a real or meaningful change. They would change in a way that they can manipulate other people better. Because that is all they got. To change they need to have a conscience about what they had done and they need a real self. They have nothing of both. Just inner turmoil they try to avoid with other peoples and social media, TV and other kinds of distraction. Her self and her values are constantly changing and they have no memory of what they were doing or being a few months ago. They have nothing to start with or nothing to change. They do not even know, why they are doing things sometimes - so how shall they be abble to do things differently, if the things have no purpose? Trying to change would destroy everything, because their whole life is built on lies and a false self. I would love to take revenge for my hurt over a year, but nature itself will do that. She won't be getting old or happy. No meaningful or longer lasting relationships, sleep problems, health problems like high blood pressure, backache, headache and so on, no sense of self and completeley denial. I think one day it will all get back on her and her health that she denies everything she had with me. She has so many things bottled up in the inside, because she is the quiet/Waif Type of BPD that her body and her soul will shut down one day.

Am I right? Any thoughts on that would be awesome!   
Thank for reading and kind regards!

[guilttripped9000]

Hello BPD-Family!
Today I want to discuss a topic, which is bothering all of us in some way: The huge question, if she has changed and is a better person now. Does the replacement or other people in her life do only get the best of her, like we got it at the beginning? Did we do all the work and the new guy gets the results? Was their bad behaviour our fault and what could we have done?
I do think about these questions everyday for about 10 months and I want and need to end it, so please share your thoughts on these questions and the following analysis. I got my informations through sporadic "contact" with her and through some social-media posts and conversations with her "best" friends. This analysis shall prove me that she has not changed and is not happier, eventhough she thinks so.

1. First it is interesting, what she said to me one month and 2 months after the break-up: She wanted to spend more time, with people from their class, which she hated and about whom she solely talked negativeley -->Still needs supply and does not give a damn about whom she gets it from.

- Than she told me that she got to know a guy, with who she got no problems and that all her problems are gone now --> Still not taking responsibility and giving me and her hormones all the fault for her problems and our discussions. And of course denial: If you read my other posts, she had some bad behaviors, thoughts and real mental problems, which do not disappear magically with a new guy. Total denial and blame-shifting on me.

- Also I could see that she still painted me black and solely sees only the negative in me and my past actions --> if she would have changed, she could see me in white and in black, which she can't until this day.

- She also was sure some things did not happen or she did not say something like that, eventhough they clearly happened: - Still denial of past behaviour, she could not even see her behaving like a BPD, eventhough reading something about it.

- Wanted my help a few months ago to check her grammar in an application after another breakup or disappointment in her romantic life (Changed Whatsapp-Status) : Told me that it would not be bad, if I do not want to help her, but she wants to know, if she should wait for a response --> Total attention seeking and looking for supply and approval. Kind of crazy considering that she never wanted to see me again, talk to me or hear something from me.

- Then still the crazy smirk, when I was talking to her in march and when I saw her at her workplace. Nothing new to me.

- ignoring me, but as soon as I talked to another girl she came over and said that I should stop staring at her --> still a control freak and still bitter about me and trying to destroy my life.

- Still a happy facade: After I called her out on her blatant lies on that parrty in march, she sat down on a floor and looked finished. After she saw me around, she got straight up and on the dancefloor to not show me that she was unhappy or that I hit her with the truth.

- Wanted to end a friendship with a really good girl, who defended her and who she had some really good times with, only because she gives her boyfriend in school more attention --> Still attention and supply seeking like a child

-  Told me in February that she is happy now, because she deleted the wrong people from her life --> Still no responsibility for her feelings and her own happiness, still completeley dependent on others.

2. What I saw on social media:
- Total non-sense-behavior. First she blocked me on Whatsapp and even generally my phone-number, which was over the top, because I made it clear that I do not want to see her ever again. Than after I saw her again a few months later, she unblocked me on whatsapp and a few weeks ago she deleted my number again.

- On Instagram she constantly changed her profile between public and private and uploaded a few weeks ago a profile pic on Facebook, eventhough she told me one year earlier that she does not want anybody to see, how she does look like. (But her Instagram Selfies are okay - WTH?).

- Than another charade happened: Her posting a story, where she was on a birthday, solely to get attention and likes for her new instagram pictures: May not had get enough attention on that birthday, so this was a good way. Then she posted two stories on the two following days, blocking me and after seeing me again, unblocking me, posting a story and asking me, why I am one the first ones to see it. After that message posting another story and telling me that she knew I have seen it.

- Than still sometimes the same depressing quotes, she used when we had one of our thousand breakups. A status on Whatapp with a heart and a day later an X and her profile picture and her last online status gone --> Still relationships between extremes.

3. Convversations with her "best" friends.
These were the most helpful ones and really improved my situation.

- One of her knew her only for a month after I met him back in september. He told me that she is a son of a bitch. She always talks about what she had with her new friends with benefits --> This speaks for itself, if you analyze it closely. First the fact that she has a friends with benefits again. She was nearly completeley destroyed two times by it and sweared to me to never ever want to have this kind of relationship again. Still does not learn from her past mistakes. Than with whom she has this friends of benefits. A guy, who was not her type, when we still had contact. He was too short, had a beard and was from Turkey, her Russian parents hate these kind of people and now she is ___ing them -->Still lying to her parents and still does not give a sh't about their values at home. It looks like a revenge on her controlling parents.

- Than another best friend of her thinks that she has sex or makes out with everyone she can get. Well, was different, when we still had contact --> Must fill the void more and more and still does not bother with who, her mainly purpose is not having good guys with good values, her purpose to have her needs met now. Still oversexualk and seductive, still does not get to know other people well before she makes out with them. Her beauty and her body are still her first choice weapons.

- Again hanging out her first love, who never had a relationship with her and instead of that left her two times for other girls --> If she would have changed and be so happy, she would not get back to the person, she badmouthed a lot and who had done this to her. Eventhough this recycling attempt fits to Borderline to a T. If she would love herself now and would learn from past mistakes and be a different person, she would not want to try again with the person, who puts her through so much pain.

- Her "best" friend became her best friend after one month. After she badmouthed him on her birthday and he drove away they had no contact for six weeks or something --> Still idealizing and devaluing people. Black and white thinking still existing. Still not able to see another persons perspective and their feelings and still not able to make compromises and to admit a mistake. And still not giving a f*ck about who she is hanging out with. If he was really that important to her or if he would have been really her best friend, she would have contacted him. Funny enough that she does not see her as a best friend - he says that she only writes him, when she wants to party or drink --> Still not able to form meaningful friendships and deep connections. He even badmouths her on a party about her weight and it does not seem like that anyone defended her, nobody seems to like her.

- her female (ex-)best friend has slowly enough of her and her bull___ and does not really like her at the moment --> when we had contact her best friend even defended her and told me that she has not borderline. (Yeah, I was totally wrong, only over 200 behaviours that speak for itself, while you are only getting her facade most of the time)--> Still not able to hold meaningful relationships over years. My guess is that she fears closeness and as you grow closer over the years, her best friend now gets the sh*tty behaviour everyone gets that is close to her.

- another best friend of her told me that he has not seen her for months and that he would not be friends with her, if it wasn't for her sister and her female best friend --> she knew this guy for nearly two years and is now distancing herself without any conflict or something. Still changing her friendship cycles and gets bored quickly. Still not able to hold relationships over years. I guess she is changing, but she is changing all the time, that's why she constantly needs new people, new attention and new admiration. Eventhough other people are not able to see through her bull___.

- her "new" best friend: Is an unloyal rat as herself: Promised one guy that she would not have something with other guys while being close to him. Short time later she has her first time sex with a guy from the internet she never saw before --> Attracts the same sh*tty kind of people. It is funny that she is now best friends with a girl who called her a bitch and who smiled at me a few months ago, like she still liked me. Anyway everybody of her friends still seem to like me, eventhough she tries to persuade them that I am a bad guy.

- A new crazy ex: Me. Yes, in her eyes I am a psycho, because I see her Instagram Stories. I am crazy, because I wrote "novels" to her --> Still not taking responsibility: She could have blocked me on Instagram. And my long texts were sent because of her ___ty behaviour, which I tried to explain or to critizise. She badmouths me so often that even her "best" friend does not want to hear it and is getting nerved.

- I am a stalker, since I go to the supermarket near my town since she worked there --> Still delusional and living in her own world. I was there two times in three/four months. I always tell people that I do not want to go there, since I do not want to see her ever again. And if I would want to stalk her I would attent to parties in my town, where she is with a prtobability of 110%. Still a liar to everyone and still trying to destroy me and not satisfied with her life. If she would be happy and would have closed that chapter of her life, why still telling people about me that often that they get annoyed?

- and after I heard that I nearly died from laughing too hard: She tells a guy, whom she barely knows (probably for a few minutes) that she does not get really wet, when having sex --> Hahaha, that says it all, doesn't it? First she still shares really private things with everyone, than she still looks after heroes and rescuers, than she still is really sexual, than she still feels no shame, and the best thing: It is proof that she uses sex only for control, manipulation and to distract her from her own emptiness and to fill up her hole of selfworth. If she would enjoy it, she wouuld get horny, naughty and wet. It still bothers me that she tells everyone that I was too thin for her and she like a little bit fatter guys. But why was she horny and wet with me? How can she be so delusional. Oh of course, her BPD hits her hard again.

- she tells her "best" friend constantly, how cute this and this guy looks --> She still tries to make somebody jealous to hurt them and to get attention. But now it is worse: She does not only want to make her "love" interest jealous, but also her best friend to get attention.

- breaking down what we have: She not tells about the story that she loved me so much and wanted a relationship with me and that I was kind of her hero and saviour and her best friend. She just tells other guys that we had something a few months ago and not more --> Still in denial, still can't confronting the truth that it meant something for her. (Yes I know that it was not about me, more about my supply)

- She is still unhealthy: Shisha, McDonalds and still really overweight. Told me right after the breakup that her backpain gets worse and worse but does not seem to want to do anything against it. --> Still no responsibility and childike behaviour.

- is really quick to call friends traitors, when they something against her or something good about someone she hates --> Still black and white, still taking things personally really quick, still easily offended. Still thinks people are colluding against her.


So a lot of behaviors are reminding me of the girl in January I left. I do not know enough about her romantic or sexual relationships to clearly say that she has not changed. But when I focus on these behaviours and the opinions of other people, I can say that there are still some crazy and illogical patterns that prove that she might still have BPD and she had not worked on herself and that she is worse than before meeting me. I guess her other relationships are not better, because I think she can not change. She is still delusional about her past behvaior and patterns: She gives me the fault or responsibility for everything, downplay it, says that it was not existent, says that she behaves different with different people. She can't analyze herself, because she has no introspection or emotional memory. She has solely black and white thinking, which prevent her from helping herself or bettering her situation, because that would mean that she is not flawless and perfect and that she is a bad person in general. She can not help or change herself, because she does not want to get better. She never even wanted me to solve her problems, she wanted a listener. And she hated it that I wanted to be in her life to help her. She said that she does not need something like that and does not want pity. She can't accept failure and is in denial and delusion about it. Instead of accepting the fact that she deeply hurt me and made me so angry that I called her out on her bull___, she just sees me in an only negative light. She can't change, because she concentrates on other peoples failures or create them and give them the whole responsibility for her happiness. She project her failures on other people, so she has not to see it in herself or can see her as normal. She does not have the ressources to change and I guess your ex do not have it. But the thing is, they do not want to change as long as they do not have to. And even when they havve to, it would be not a real or meaningful change. They would change in a way that they can manipulate other people better. Because that is all they got. To change they need to have a conscience about what they had done and they need a real self. They have nothing of both. Just inner turmoil they try to avoid with other peoples and social media, TV and other kinds of distraction. Her self and her values are constantly changing and they have no memory of what they were doing or being a few months ago. They have nothing to start with or nothing to change. They do not even know, why they are doing things sometimes - so how shall they be abble to do things differently, if the things have no purpose? Trying to change would destroy everything, because their whole life is built on lies and a false self. I would love to take revenge for my hurt over a year, but nature itself will do that. She won't be getting old or happy. No meaningful or longer lasting relationships, sleep problems, health problems like high blood pressure, backache, headache and so on, no sense of self and completeley denial. I think one day it will all get back on her and her health that she denies everything she had with me. She has so many things bottled up in the inside, because she is the quiet/Waif Type of BPD that her body and her soul will shut down one day.

Am I right? Any thoughts on that would be awesome!   
Thank for reading and kind regards!

[once removed]

i think that everyone learns some lessons from old relationships that they want to take into new ones, some good lessons, sometimes the wrong lessons.

and i think that everyone tends to be a little closer to the best version of themselves that they want to be in relationships. it takes some of us longer than others to learn the "right" lessons. it took me a long time.

if you think about it clinically, a relationship is an interaction between two people. if you switch out one of those people for another, unique person, it stands to reason that the relationship will be different, even if some things are carried over, right?

Hello BPD-Family!
The huge question, if she has changed and is a better person now. Does the replacement or other people in her life do only get the best of her, like we got it at the beginning? Did we do all the work and the new guy gets the results? Was their bad behaviour our fault and what could we have done?
I do think about these questions everyday for about 10 months and I want and need to end it,

if you think about it, we dont normally do this, right? like for example, if you had a girlfriend in middle school, if theyre married now or not married now, happily or otherwise, we dont really think about what we have to do with it.

so i think theres a certain fear of ours there, i know there was for me to. whats really behind it, for you, and for others reading?

[JNChell]

Hi, gt9000. I hope you’re well. or gave you some great insight. How do you feel about what he offered you?

Ruminating on whether or not our exes have changed, are happier with the next person, etc. is common to feel after these relationships. once removed made a very valid point. Different people = a different situation. This is sound logic. There’s the risk of comparing yourself to another person if you think about this too much. Self reflection is the way forward. Comparing is staying stuck and possibly violating your core values.

To help to momentarily set your mind at ease, she most likely hasn’t changed. As you know, we can’t and don’t diagnose. What you’ve described in your posts certainly sound like you’re accurate in your thoughts. If that is the case? No. She hasn’t changed at all. pwBPD, if they finally decide to seek proper treatment, take a very long time with very extensive and specialized therapy to make progress. The prognosis and success rate is poor. She’s in a new situation now. She’s elated through her very immature mind. You see, pwBPD mature physically, but they are emotionally arrested at some point in their childhood. Does that make sense? Has she shared any past traumas with you? I’m not asking you to divulge them, I’m just curious if she has told you about some intense stuff that she might have endured as a child.

Man, I go through phases of blaming my ex for how I feel at times. I’m talking about being curled up in a ball and sobbing. Emotional flashbacks and lashing out at her. Nothing positive ever comes from that. It only serves to complicate things.

Letting go is very hard. The plans that you may have made together. The passion. The feeling of being adored and needed. It’s all gone in an instant. We’re left with trying to process a very traumatic experience while they simply move on.

The thing is, they’re not moving on. They’re keeping themselves stuck. They don’t self reflect and it is a matter of time before the mask slips again. It’s situational with a different person. Don’t read into it and stop looking. Focus on you now. Love yourself and good things will follow.