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Author Topic: Know I shouldn't meet her, but...  (Read 401 times)
GuySmiley
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 89


« on: June 10, 2017, 08:13:19 AM »

So after the latest round of silent treatment ended after she decided to forgive me for calling her a stupid little girl, I get a text asking if I wanted to meet up next week. She also apologised for getting angry that I was out with a female friend.

So then we had a couple of days texting then a day where we spoke for a couple of hours on the phone - and I agree to meet up next week. The phone call was going well, the desire and the attraction is off the charts - she tells me she loves me and always wants to be with just me, but we end up going down the argument route - well, not maybe an argument but we came to loggerheads as it becomes increasingly clear to me that the 'relationship' isn't going and can't go anywhere as she simply will never leave her husband. She asks me why I'm getting upset about this as she's stated time and time again she's not leaving. Which she has - she's covered her bases there and can continue guilt-free knowing that she's been completely honest with the outcome and any hurt I experience is my own responsibility. And thats true, I accept that.

So after I've realised is isn't going anywhere I tell her I don't want to meet up and she's devastated and it's then a very quiet empty phone line as we both know it's not going where we want it to and we're both waiting for the other to say something. I eventually say I'm going and hang up.

And so last night comes and I get a few texts... .

Excerpt
Please don't end this x

Excerpt
Meet me on Tuesday?

Excerpt
... .I'm not going to give up ... .you and me have a chemistry I've never felt before. (she clearly doesn't remember the chemistry we had all through Uni.)

I've yet to reply to them. I want to see her. Im desperate to see her and for us to be together. She tells me she loves me. But I know it's ultimately pointless and for the massive high and feeling of completeness I get when we're together, the pain of the comedown is excruciating.
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roberto516
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 782


« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2017, 08:18:42 AM »

I sound like your ex . I'm the beggar. And it's funny when I say mean things it me who apologizes. God it'd feel good to have gotten an apology from her known that I said those mean things in anger. But as for you, it's your call. But I'd do a pros and cons list
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“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.”
GuySmiley
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 89


« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2017, 08:34:04 AM »

Well it has taken almost 20 years to get a single apology from her, but I'm well aware she wasn't doing it out of genuine remorse but because she was laying the groundwork to get something that she wanted.

She's also recently admitting to lying about her husband knowing about our texting etc. I called her out on that and she reluctantly admitted it was a lie. Honestly wish he did know as this would come to a head one way or another.
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Rayban
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 502


« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2017, 09:19:56 AM »

GS

Actions speak louder then words.  She says she loves you, but doesn't want to leave her husband.  She wants the  best of all worlds. The comforts of a marriage and the passion of the guy on the side.

If you decide to meet with her, what's the best case scenario? She finally decides to leave her husband? If she doesn't what's changed? You'll have days maybe weeks of passion only for her to go back to her husband.


I know how tempting it is. The excitement she brings, the sex the passion. You'll probably try to convince yourself that you'll see her one last time even knowing that the price to pay is months of heartache.  It's not worth it.

Take strengtht from walking away.
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Harley Quinn
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2839


I am exactly where I need to be, right now.


« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2017, 01:44:23 PM »

Hi GuySmiley,

I feel this is an opportunity for you to decide not what she means to you but what YOU mean to yourself.  Have a think about your future and how you want it to look.  What would your ideal relationship look like if you have one?  Can this woman participate in that and give you what you want?  Then tell yourself what you would tell a dear friend or family member if they were in your shoes with this junction ahead of them.  Which way would you tell them to turn? 

Love and light x
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