Even with the remark...I fully understand your intent.
I fully agree, this isn't about "what she might think". Your focus needs to be on "what's best for Sam's mental health", regardless of what she thinks. You do you brother.
I remember a similar story with my BPD daughter. A neighbor had a pit bull that stayed in their yard on a chain. And every day, my daughter would tease the dog on her way home from school knowing she was safe. Everyone would yell at her saying, "Stop it! That's mean and the dog is going to bite you." Not just my wife and I, but even other parents and kids younger than her. We all knew what was going to happen.
One day, my kid gets off the bus and heads toward the dog, making fun of it and taunting it. You already know what happened...the dog's chain wasn't fully extended, he lunged at her, and bit her hand. But you probably can't predict the rest of the story, not yet anyway.
My kid ran home crying, the neighbors ran to help, and before long everyone was angry. Why was a mean dog on a chain near a bus stop? Why did the owner not take better care of his animal? Why hasn't the city removed that vicious dog? One neighbor actually called the local news station, while others called animal control. The dog was taken and scheduled to be put down.
In this story Sam, you are the Pit Bull on the leash. And like so many of us, maybe you had a big bark or a hard bite once or twice. But the problem was never the dog, or the chain, or the owner, or the bus stop...it was a kid who thought it was funny to be cruel to animals. Before that incident, I had walked up to that dog and pet it dozens of times. He was a good boy. Yet somehow, my kid got all the love and sympathy once the dog did exactly what dogs do when they're mistreated.
There's only one difference from you and the pit bull- your chain is imaginary. It doesn't exist. You don't have to just accept the abuse while pointing the finger at yourself.
