Easier said than done

[Chains Candor]

10 years married.
I love my spouse deeply.
They also can drive me insane.
They are very seasoned in tactics and responses.
As long they are getting what they need it's ok.
The moment I take a stand the fighting will go on escalating
Until I give in.
I'm aware of setting boundaries and so much more.
I have no path, no way to reach.
I often accept this and do my best but I'm burned out.
I'm an old school person.
My word is my bond.
They have been through dbt .
They are trying but truly are not capable at times.
I'm exhausted.

Help

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

Hi Chains Candor, glad you found us. 10+ years is a long time to be coping with BPD -- anyone would be burned out from the fighting.

When you say your spouse is truly not capable at times, what does that look like (i.e. unable to keep a job, self harm, something else)?

We'll be here for you;

kells76

[Chains Candor]

Hi Chains Candor, glad you found us. 10+ years is a long time to be coping with BPD -- anyone would be burned out from the fighting.

When you say your spouse is truly not capable at times, what does that look like (i.e. unable to keep a job, self harm, something else)?

We'll be here for you;

kells76

[Chains Candor]

It took me a bit to figure out how to reply.
When I say not capable I mean truly unable to see things beyond there lens.
She cannot put them in my shoes.
It will still be how they would see or deal with something.
I like to use the phrase...
How do you tell someone who's not listening they are not listening.
They think it ridiculous when I have said this.
Bpd affects everything in their life but that would be an argument of complete denial to have a discussion about this.

[Chains Candor]

Yes also..
Self harm she's panicked and froze at work so now getting back to dbt therapy.
That's just the tip.