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Author Topic: In the middle of it - Need quick advice  (Read 1555 times)
sadinsweden
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« Reply #30 on: December 26, 2012, 04:21:26 AM »
Yes everyone. I am ok. Sorry for the delay in getting back here. He was home and so my time here was curtailed ... .and I also needed some sleep. Thank you all for your help, support and warm wishes. Meant the world to me.

I have limited time here now but wanted to share one or two things: The police were great. Very kind, polite, professional. Their presence actually helped to calm him down. It also made him realize that I will call for help and get other people involved. (He was very embarrassed). It also re-enforced boundaries (I guess   )

The next morning he was very humble and very upset about the police being here. I was kind toward him (and yet firm). Once important point. He was upset about the police being here. I told him "Yes, I understand you are upset about the police being here, but what you should be more upset about is WHY the police had to be here." Soo... .I'm letting him think about that for awhile.

I will be back asap. I have been doing a bit of math and will have another post when I can get back here with some real time. Thank you everyone. I am so happy to have found you all.  Hoping you all had a lovely holiday.
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Surnia
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« Reply #31 on: December 26, 2012, 05:00:53 AM »
 

Great! I am relieved.

Excerpt
The police were great. Very kind, polite, professional.

Good to hear too.

Take your time. 
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
Validation78
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« Reply #32 on: December 26, 2012, 05:11:51 AM »
Hi Sad!

So glad to hear that you are safe and thinking about what to do next. We were concerned for you, and hope you will continue to take measures to stay safe!

Thanks for keeping us posted!

Best Wishes,

Val78
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Scarlet Phoenix
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« Reply #33 on: December 26, 2012, 06:44:59 AM »
Hi Sadinsweden,

Thanks for the update! 

I'm so glad to hear that things have calmed down for the time being. I think you've made it clear where your boundary is regarding this behaviour. He still might repeat it, and if he does don't hesitate to call the police again. I'm glad they could help calm things down. Please continue to take good care of yourself , make sure you don't lose yourself in this scary situation in a new and unfamiliar country.

I wish you peace, love and happiness.
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~~ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again ... and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly ~~ Become who you are ~~
Go Fish
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« Reply #34 on: December 26, 2012, 07:31:08 AM »
If you are American, check with the US consulate there to help you find protection and figure out your options. They should have a list of phone numbers and resources in English for you. Also keep your passport and documents on you or in a safe place so you can leave more easily.  Put aside money in cash and an overnight bag. I would suggest researching flights back. Your situation sounds very unsafe. No need to live through these cycles. You have many people who care about you and want you to be safe.

Keep checking in. You have support here.
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Scarlet Phoenix
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« Reply #35 on: December 27, 2012, 04:35:45 AM »
Sadinsweden

I hope you are well   Remember that you are not alone. We are here for you.
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~~ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again ... and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly ~~ Become who you are ~~
Rockylove
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« Reply #36 on: December 28, 2012, 07:51:57 PM »
sadinsweden... .I do hope all is well.  check in and let us know that you are taking care of yourself. 
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sadinsweden
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« Reply #37 on: December 31, 2012, 11:21:49 AM »
Hi All,

Wanted to check in and wish you all a Happy New Year. I'm ok. My guy and I are not in a happy place but we're working on it ... .both of us. I'm also spending some time processing.

GoFish, thank you for your most excellent suggestions. I'll keep checking in but for now the holidays make it hard to get here. Sending warm wishes and thanks. 
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Surnia
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« Reply #38 on: December 31, 2012, 11:32:08 AM »
Sadinsweden

 and a happy new Year for you too! May it bring what  you need the most. 
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
Scarlet Phoenix
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« Reply #39 on: January 17, 2013, 08:11:53 AM »
How are things, Sadinsweden? I'm thinking of you.
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~~ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again ... and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly ~~ Become who you are ~~
Surnia
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Posts: 3900
« Reply #40 on: January 18, 2013, 11:30:44 AM »
Quote from: Scarlet Phoenix on January 17, 2013, 08:11:53 AM
How are things, Sadinsweden? I'm thinking of you.

Yes, me too! Hope all is well... .  
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
sadinsweden
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« Reply #41 on: February 07, 2013, 07:55:43 AM »
Hi All, Thanks for your continued support. It's been difficult for me to get here as my BPD has the winter months off from work (construction) and has been home 24/7. This last week has been the week from hell. I'll be posting within the next 24 hours. 
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Rockylove
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« Reply #42 on: February 07, 2013, 08:26:34 AM »
So glad to hear from you!   

I was wondering if you'd be returning to update us on your situation.  Stay strong... .  we're all here for you!
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sadinsweden
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« Reply #43 on: February 07, 2013, 02:34:02 PM »
Thanks Rocky. Sadly the news isn't good.
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Scarlet Phoenix
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« Reply #44 on: February 07, 2013, 04:19:23 PM »
Oh, no! We're here for you when you need us!
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~~ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again ... and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly ~~ Become who you are ~~
sadinsweden
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« Reply #45 on: February 07, 2013, 04:26:39 PM »
See my latest post, Doing the Math. Thanks all.   
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