Ruminating

[Heilan Mary]

I can't seem to let go of the relationship, I can't bring myself to delete numbers or his details, and I find myself constantly thinking about him and checking up on his whereabouts on social media. I still love him despite the fact I know the relationship is unhealthy. I'm trying to be strong and stick to my decision of no contact, but it's incredibly hard and requires a huge amount of resolve.

[heartandwhole]

Hi Heilan Mary,



I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to let go.    It hurts like nothing else, especially when the relationship we had was emotionally loaded.

The constant thinking about him and checking social media is normal in the early stages of breaking up. Be gentle with yourself and take it day by day—or even minute by minute if you have to.

When you can, tell us a little bit more of your story. How long were with your partner? What happened that brought on this breakup?

You've found a safe and understanding community here. Our members have been through similar experiences and understand what you are going through. We'll walk every step with you. You can get through this and thrive again.

heartandwhole

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Heilan Mary, Welcome!  You have come to a great place.  As H&W notes, the challenges you describe are to be expected in the aftermath of a b/u.  I'm sorry for your pain.  My suggestion: stay the course.  It really does get better, though maybe it doesn't feel like that right now.

LuckyJim

[lovenature]

Welcome HM

You're doing well with maintaining face to face NC, it is very hard to do. When you are ready, I would recommend the next step you take is to not look at social media; it is painful and sets you back, also it is very biased to showing only happiness-some members say "fakebook".

Keep going one day at a time, allow yourself to think your thoughts and feel your feelings when you need to-just let them come and go, and be sure to have compassion for yourself.