When and if I chose to examine my defensiveness as a mental health issue, I will seek a mental health professional, thank you for your kind concern all.
To clarify, respectfully, the topic of your subject header is geared towards others. This board is about you, and your feelings and what it is you feel is holding you back.
Discussing this with a therapist would be a good thing if you would prefer to do it in person with a mental health professional. It's ok if you're not ready to explore how this effects you here. I think we all understand that. There are topics that I sometimes feel I want to explore further about myself and am just not ready to do so on a public forum. Those I do save to discuss with my T.
Just know, we are here for you when you are ready.