Hi Wutnow32,
I think that it takes significant courage to admit that we're following a certain pattern. Some people go through life in denial, I have a friend that's just a little older than I and i've known him since I was 15. He's an alcoholic since his late teens and he's in denial but that's for another conversation. Don't be hard on yourself.
You don't have to be lonely, you're not alone. You'll find many people here that you can relate to. This is a place where you share without being invalidated or judged, it helps to talk. There is hope, you took a huge step, read as much about the disorder as you can, follow the lessons and you'll see change, follow them at a pace that you're comfortable with. Change starts with you.