Hello and welcome BCardona81!
You've found a good place for support--we've been through it ourselves and understand.
I'm glad to see you are posting trying to make things better--even if you are feeling stuck, you can still put your efforts into making the best you can out of the family you have.
I also find it hard to "validate" the people particularly my spouse when he is the single person who has caused me so much pain at times. I have also found that I am running out of empathy
Validating people who are angry and harming you is VERY hard. Even people who have a lot of practice at validating and are very good have trouble, and even then, it often doesn't work well.
In addition, sincerely validating somebody when you are feeling hurt or angry almost never works. Especially a pwBPD. They are very sensitive to emotions, and "smell" it.
I find it better to notice how I'm feeling, and try to take space away to care for myself if I can instead. When you are in a better frame of mind yourself, you have a lot more ability to improve your relationship with a difficult person.
Hang in there, and keep posting your story--it really helps.