Hey LittleBlueTruck: Am I invalidating her by not giving her the reaction she's looking for? Will this eventually lead to a big blowout no matter what I do?
Sounds like you are doing fine (although it's frustrating). It's most important to Not Invalidate (don't have to validate). Remaining silent (no reaction) is okay and can sometimes be the best choice.
Panda39 makes a good point about a possible Extinction Burst. You have done an admirable job of not JADEing (not Justifying, Arguing, Defending or Explaining). Hang in there.