I’ve been wanting a less intense “friendship”

[Shortnsweet]

But my friend has been arrested on a serious charge and will likely go to prison. I’m 17 years older than my ex romantic partner. The live in relationship was awful and I knew he was a broken person. I didn’t know about BPD. After we separated he couldn’t seem to let go. I became a mother like figure. I maintained distance and the relationship was 80% frequent phone calls. It’s been 8 years. I was on the verge of forcing myself to not pick up the phone and try and move away from the relationship. Then he recklessly shot a gun and now he’s in jail facing a serious felony. I care for him but I’m being drained. I can’t keep it up. Sometimes I want a distant friendship but I’m feeling that’s not going to be possible. He can’t seem to not call me. I’m terrible at communicating and I’m in so much pain. I cry all the time. I don’t want any of this for him but I want my life to be mine again.

[Cat Familiar]

What exactly stops you from going *no contact*?