After 6 years, the one my ex left me for has moved back in two doors down.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi All,
I quick rehash. My ex left me for my "friend" and neighbour in 2011. Both of them were real a-holes about the whole thing, real petty crap, police involvement, typical BPD stuff. My ex and former friend ended up getting married, and my ex kept her radio silence for 6 years until this past July. I came home to find that my ex had sent me some old photos of me and an apology card. Three weeks later my ex friend moved back into their house without my ex. Turns out their marriage has come to an end. Can't say I am surprised. For the past four months I have been fluctuating between feeling sorry for my former "friend" and wanting to say "Karma is a b*tch". My wife says 'kill 'em with kindness", I just want to kill him. Lol... .well not really, I am not going to lie though, it does feel good to see Karma finally catching up to them. Since the move in, I find myself thinking again about my ex a lot more. I think about the apology and wonder if it was a real apology, or if she was hoping to do something, or get something from me. I just can't trust my instincts when it comes to her. My wife says people like her never do anything without a motive. I don't know what to believe. All I know is that I get an apology, and three weeks later we get a lovely new neighbour (two doors down). The coincidence seems to much to ignore. I'd love to hear others opinion on this. Am I over analyzing again (a bad habit I have)?

[gettingoverit]

Hi All,
I quick rehash. My ex left me for my "friend" and neighbour in 2011. Both of them were real a-holes about the whole thing, real petty crap, police involvement, typical BPD stuff. My ex and former friend ended up getting married, and my ex kept her radio silence for 6 years until this past July. I came home to find that my ex had sent me some old photos of me and an apology card. Three weeks later my ex friend moved back into their house without my ex. Turns out their marriage has come to an end. Can't say I am surprised. For the past four months I have been fluctuating between feeling sorry for my former "friend" and wanting to say "Karma is a b*tch". My wife says 'kill 'em with kindness", I just want to kill him. Lol... .well not really, I am not going to lie though, it does feel good to see Karma finally catching up to them. Since the move in, I find myself thinking again about my ex a lot more. I think about the apology and wonder if it was a real apology, or if she was hoping to do something, or get something from me. I just can't trust my instincts when it comes to her. My wife says people like her never do anything without a motive. I don't know what to believe. All I know is that I get an apology, and three weeks later we get a lovely new neighbour (two doors down). The coincidence seems to much to ignore. I'd love to hear others opinion on this. Am I over analyzing again (a bad habit I have)?

[Skip]

I like your wife!

[ponco]

I'm guessing your new wife is a healthy human being, this experience should make you thankful for having a great wife now and loving her even more 

[getfree]

My wife says people like her never do anything without a motive. I don't know what to believe. All I know is that I get an apology, and three weeks later we get a lovely new neighbour (two doors down). The coincidence seems to much to ignore. I'd love to hear others opinion on this. Am I over analyzing again (a bad habit I have)?

Firstly your wife sounds like a very sensible, wise and grounded woman you are lucky (and I think she is spot on  by the way).

Secondly, I doubt it is a coincidence - the timing is way too convenient. The photos and apology are designed to elicit and positive emotional response. As your wife has said it has a motive. All we can do is speculate but I suspect it falls into the category of a recycle attempt.

Thirdly, I think you are over-analyzing. I am guilty of this and it has brought me back to the boards after a 9 month hiatus. It sounds like you've made a great new life for yourself and you should enjoy and focus on that.

Keep your boundaries nice and firm and don't look back!

getfree