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Author Topic: new member/16 yo daughter with BPD traits  (Read 363 times)
amye
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« on: March 10, 2015, 06:31:21 PM »

Just wanted to say hi and maybe grab a hug from someone.

My 16 yo daughter has some BPD traits-

Self harms; suicidal ideation; threats of suicide; suicide attempts- these behaviors are her "go-to's" when relationships are going poorly or if she feels someone is mad or ignoring her.  Impulsivity (seems to be increasing)/shoplifts/promiscuous/other dumb impulsive stuff.

She comments that sometimes she is okay alone and other times she feels out of control when alone and lonely (has self harmed in this situation)

When she feels unwell mentally she does not like herself and When feeling unwell she has commented numerous times that she feels empty inside.

Has been bored /struggled with boredom but unwilling to do anything about it for many years.

She has few interests or passions aside from drawing- which she excels at. Interestingly enough, when she feels good she will admit she draws well, when feeling down, she doesn't like to draw because she becomes overly critical of her work, causing her to feel worse.

Often (when things are going well- romantic relationship stable and things at school fairly stress-free, she does ok (other than depression and anxiety) But if she starts to feel something is wrong she starts to spiral down into crisis extravaganza.

No anger, no real love/hate relationship issues.

Currenly on 50mg prozac- prescribed inpatient about 1.5 years ago for depression, which was managed by primary care provider.  Seeing a psych tomorrow, hoping for something helpful

Well super long, thank you for reading

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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
lbjnltx
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Relationship status: widowed
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we can all evolve into someone beautiful


« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2015, 07:01:24 PM »

Hello amye

So very glad to have you here as new member!  Sorry to hear about your daughter and her struggles though... .such sadness she must feel.  As her mom I know you feel it too... .so here is your 

It's hard to deal with all this... .how long has your d16 been struggling with suicidal ideation?  Is she also cutting?

It is good that you have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow.  Did a pdoc (psychiatrist) prescribe the meds initially or just her pediatrician?

Has your d been in therapy before?  If so, can you tell us what type of therapy it was?

Lots of questions... .so here's another   for your patience with me.

lbj
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amye
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« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2015, 06:37:46 AM »

lbj,

Thank you for the hugs and validation Smiling (click to insert in post)  you already know, but having a kiddo with mental health challenges can be a lonely path.

Daughter was originally prescribed prozac inpatient by a pdoc and her primary care provider then managed the prozac until just recently when daughter's symptoms began to escalate.  We have had a few pdoc appts over the 1.5 year of major struggled, but I would cancel them because at the time of appt. d would be stable and I would think that this time we've got it all figured out... .

Daughter does cut- always with reason, never just to cut.  She does like to see the blood.  Has never required medical attention for cuts.

She has seen a total of 4 outpatient therapists, initially for anxiety concerning friendships, then add in school anxiety.  Depression symptoms increased, cutting began, changed therapists so we could be in a clinic that offered dbt, six months later, invited into dbt program which led to a therapist change and started round one (16 weeks of adolescent dbt). Daughter was somewhat on board with group therapy (it felt good to be with other kids that understood the struggle), though had several weeks where she checked out of learning skills while she struggled to merely cope.  As a parent, I attended as well and gained here and there.  First 16 weeks ended and daughter made another therapist switch to a different dbt therapist. Daughter decided to repeat dbt and we just finished that 16 week course. She will continue to meet weekly with current therapist.

I am also in an adult dbt group.  Comparing the two shows me that the adolescent group barely skimmed the surface of dbt and never truly dug into the important emotional regulation skills that d so desperately needs.

Daughter has an IEP at school (EBD) and part of her plan includes weekly visits with school social worker.  Social worker called last week to let me know d was refusing to meet.  SW also shared that d has been opposed to discussing issues or practicing/role playing her issues using dbt skills.  Felt d was "resisting" treatment/help.  I spoke with her current therapist and she agreed that d knows how to work a session so she doesn't have to "get messy".  I talked with d about it and I think I understand her to be saying that when she talks about "stuff" and she is feeling ok-good, she ends up feeling upset, reliving those negative thoughts and feelings and feels bad all over again.  I shared with therapist my thoughts about d's BPD traits. Could therapy be approached differently? I asked.

D is willing to see pdoc today, though she hates repeating over and over her story, struggled etc.  D has commented a few times "something is really wrong with me" as well as stating that she is worried about herself.

Oh, I love that girl- to see her feeling strong and confident and unafraid would be beautiful

Thanks for reading

Amy

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lbjnltx
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« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2015, 07:20:41 AM »

Hello again amye,

Thanks for coming back and giving the background of your daughter's treatment history.

You have done a lot to provide her with opportunities to help herself. 

Do you think that she is DBT treatment resistant?

DBT is a great and effective therapy model and it doesn't work for everyone.  It didn't work for my daughter.

Her entrenched thinking errors and coping skills are going to be difficult to overcome.  Does she need a constantly therapeutic environment with peer accountability to break through to  her and practice new ways of thinking and coping until they are solidified?

How is she doing academically?

All the efforts have value amye... .sometimes we can become frustrated and fearful when we don't see improvements lasting.  Progress is not linear

I hope the pdoc can adjust her meds to help give her a more level baseline from which to rebuild.  Since your daughter is crying out for help she is leaps and bounds ahead of most teens w/BPD traits.

The key is going to be finding that therapy model and treatment plan that she will buy into and stay with.

lbj



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