Hello there truthbeknown,
How are you doing? I'm sorry this must be very painful for you to be on the receiving end of the "emotional abuse".
So a little more then two weeks goes by and i can't stop wondering whether she broke up with the boyfriend. So i had one of my friends go to her fb page to see if she had opened it up to public again. Why? When i unfriended her she took the page from public to private in retaliation. But since i told her that I sent my message i thought she might try to retaliate. And the only way she could do that would be to post pics of her new boyfriend on FB. So my friend said, "yep, there he is with a public posting on April 10." What's my point? first that the more loving i try to be with this woman (even though she left me) the more vindictive she gets). She likes to emasculate men and she's trying to use the new guy to do that to me.
It does seem that you have some awareness of what is going on in your present situation and how being with her as unfortunately affected you in a negative manner.
May i know prior to this how long has it been since your last NC? Were you on NC? It just be such a heartache to miss the person who is hurting you the most right now and not to feel valued and have your love and care reciprocated in kind is an awful feeling to have.
I spoke with a coach friend of mine who told me that he wishes that his gf would sleep with someone else and leave him because she is crazy. I think he doesn't understand the seriousness of what we on this board are dealing with? or else he's got something else going on to say that.
It is as you say difficult for your friend to comprehend and empathise with your current set of circumstances without knowledge of the said PD.
I must like crazy (not really) because i still miss her. I was chatting with a female friend that said, "what do you miss about her " and i listed a whole bunch of things. The problem is she is not a good catch and not a good woman to be in relationship with so i'm down on myself for missing her tonight.
I think truthbeknown, since your friend has posed that question to you, i'd ask in kind as well. What do you miss about her? Are these things related to how she made you feel? or are those her innate qualities? like being patient, caring, kind toward others, honest, down to earth? But as you've perhaps also mentioned in the next sentence, that your acknowledge at the same time that she is not a person "good in a relationship". So i suppose you're struggling but perhaps deep in your heart you've come to the conclusion which takes a long time to accept.
I'm alone by myself for the first time in awhile. I am on a work break staying with family and the family when out of town and now i'm confronted with this overwhelming feeling of being betrayed and loss. I thought i was doing well until she reached out to me 2 weeks ago. And it just re opened wounds and now she is trying/hoping that i will go to her page and see pics of the new guy (I know she is being passive aggressive).
I'm sorry that you're feeling lonely, betrayed and hurt by all that she has done. It does seem that you're still processing the events of what is happening. I also notice that the "re-engagement" has also caused you to be hurt further and there is some sense of distress which i am sensing from your post. Nothing that this is the "detaching" board, what would you like to do from here?
We're here to listen and to bounce ideas as a community. I know this is difficult, but i want to say, truthbeknown. Take heart.
Yours,
Spero