ive been in distant situations with partners many times.
its majorly anxiety inducing for me. i suspect if i were in your shoes, a little reassurance would go a long way, but chasing it will generally render it further out of reach, and in turn, that would leave me even more anxious.
chasing, wearing our heart on our sleeve, and generally acting on anxiety is just not something that women in general are attracted to. a person with bpd traits, especially, really relies on our strength and stability. as a general rule, i allow myself to be as anxious as im going to be, but i try not to put it upon a partner, or potential partner.
pulling back even a little can go a long way. it reintroduces the element of mystery, it can showcase the upbeat, confident guy that she fell for in the first place. its the difference between playing games vs just being way too available. i have some tendency to come on too strong, when i tend to find less is more.
I’ve lost everything about myself since entering the relationship. I don’t skate anymore, I used to love filming skating with my friends.
get these things back. build on them even, with new things. it will not only help keep you grounded, but these things that make us "us" are what others find attractive about us. it may feel like pulling teeth for a while, but its a big part of the puzzle.