a prepared statement

[Parents! Get help here!]

Can someone help me come up with a prepared statement to give my DD when she starts being ugly to me?  I need something that can help me just get out of the situation and discuss it later when she is not so angry.

[Sugar21]

Can someone help me come up with a prepared statement to give my DD when she starts being ugly to me?  I need something that can help me just get out of the situation and discuss it later when she is not so angry.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Pook075]

Sure, that's something that we can help with.  Why don't you give us a typical example, a situation where you have trouble communicating and things tend to escalate.

Also, what points do you feel is the most important to get across in the moment, when things are beginning to get tense?  These have to be your words with your feelings behind them, so a good part of this has to come from you.

[Sancho]

Hi Sugar21
Can I suggest you make a statement about what you are going to do when dd is NOT being nasty etc. That way when it happens you can follow through at the time and dd will know why. I think it is better to do it this way than try to make a statement when dd is going off at you.

For example - at some time when things are okay you could say something like:

xxxxx I want a quick word if that's okay. I understand that you are under pressure at times but I feel you let the pressure out on me. I understand but I find it really difficult and it's really affecting me. When you do this I know you need time out, so I have decided it is better for both of us if I walk away and don't engage in talk so that you have time to wind down and I know that I am giving you that time.


Something like that. Next time - follow through in a relaxed way (sounds funny but it's important because they pick up on our tension. DD will likely explode, so hold the line with another one liner such as 'this will be better for both of us and we can talk at another time'. Just keep saying that.

Just my thoughts . . . .