Getting my child into therapy

[AlphaClare]

 Hi, I want to share that my daughter agreed to go to therapy, after her Dad offered her a lump of money specifically for that purpose only, (he is dying of cancer). This might sound like bribery, but she didn't take up the offer for months; only after she had a disastrous first-date night with an internet dating partner, in which she fell in love, drank too much, told him she loved him and wanted to marry him, then felt terribly ashamed and grief-stricken for the next few days when he didn't respond to any of her messages. She then realised she had a problem with drinking to deal with feelings; and a problem with behaving impulsively. We have a contact (a therapist we, her parents, consulted after she assaulted me in a rage) who is a BPD specialist. We've given my daughter the number. I can't believe that after all this time, there might be some support and growth for her. Thanks for listening.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi AlphaClare

This is a very encouraging development! I hope your daughter will now indeed get the help she needs. Sometimes it unfortunately takes a personal crisis like this for someone to come to the realization that they indeed need help.

In your last post you said your daughter had been exhibiting BPD traits since her teens. You and your husband had received support from a specialist psychologist who confirmed those BPD tendencies. Are you still getting support from this psychologist?

You also said in your previous post that she had been evaluated by a psychiatrist who didn't confirm the BPD diagnosis, did she perhaps get another diagnosis?

[lbjnltx]

Hi alphacare,

So sorry to hear about your husband.

My daughter 18, who has had traits of BPD and I lost her dad to cancer.  The loss and impending loss of a parent to a person who suffers from BPD can be devastating.  My d was in denial for much of the time my husband was in decline.

Do you think that encouraging your daughter to seek therapy with the specialist to help her deal with her dad's illness (not loss) might also help nudge her into therapy?

Is your daughter living with you and your husband?

lbj

[livednlearned]

Hi alphacare,

I wanted to join lbjnltx and Kwamina in saying hi, and to let you know that I'm also so sorry to hear about your husband. Is your D18 having a hard time with the news of his health, or able to articulate how she feels?

It is so encouraging that your D18 would acknowledge having a problem, and she is still young. Have you met the BPD specialist? Having a good therapist can make such a difference. I hope your D will call the therapist and take the next step.

LnL